Working with reality

photo by Jenny Ingalls Nelson

Byron Katie has been a big influence in my work and my life. I clearly remember reading her book, “Loving What Is”, while on a beach vacation with my BFF (the hubbs doesn’t like the sand). My biggest takeaway? If you want the socks off the floor, pick up the socks. Or, in my case… if you want the trash taken out, take out the trash.

It may sound silly, but often in a relationship, the smallest things can become the biggest challenges. Ever find yourself keeping score with your significant other or anyone else close to you? Yeah. Me, too.

Katie, as she likes to be called, teaches about working with reality. Looking at things in this exact moment, as a way of resolving pain. It is only when we oppose reality that we experience pain.

To go back to the trash example, what I was fighting was the truth that taking the trash out was what I wanted. Maybe it wasn’t what my husband wanted, and instead of asking him to dutifully take the trash out on our designated day every week, I would become resentful of the ‘one more thing’ I had to do.

Re-framing my experience and working with reality was like a breath of fresh air. It seemed so simple! Clearly, he didn’t care about taking the trash out. I did. Why did it even matter? When you take a step back or have that ah-ha moment, you really get some clarity around the little things.

When I came home from that vacation, something had shifted. Working with reality is now a part of my everyday life. Yes, it takes practice, but I bet there’s one little place in your life that you can start. What’s the baby step you can take to stop opposing reality?

Thanks for being on this journey with me.


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