Words that hold us back

Post by Taralee Hurff for the Kind Kindred series.

photo courtesy of Boudewijn Berends on Flickr

Wallowing, wondering, waiting and worrying are “w” words that are simply not worth it!

The actions of these words do nothing more than waste time, energy and head space. They cause our emotions to produce unproductive and over reactive actions. We set ourselves up to increase the level of feeling mentally and emotionally drained. There are even times when we manifest physical effects that drain ourselves, for example: headaches, isolating ourselves from others, the need to sleep all the time, not being able to get off the couch or out of bed, and not eating or overeating to name a few. The actions of these “w” words often cause us to retreat into our own silent world of suffering, doing only what is necessary to get through each day and putting on that happy face for everyone praying no one calls you out with a “what’s wrong?”

Life is going to throw us curve balls that will elicit every one of those “w” word emotions at one time or another. Most people will participate in various actions that fall into the categories of wasting time, energy and head space. We will drain ourselves. We will make ourselves suffer and maybe even convince ourselves we deserve it. We will put on that smile when in reality our hearts are shattering and every breath is holding back the tears. There will be times the clouds seem to hover but we need to hold on to the fact that the sun never really goes away. We make the choice to not see it.

I say we make the choice to not see the sun because we do. We allow the “w” words to consume us and we think it is too hard to feel or be any other way. The emotions take control of our hearts and make our heads too foggy which then allows the entrance of the unproductive and over reactive actions. I want you to know that we have the power to change this cycle and continue to see the sun between the clouds and even in darkness see the rays breaking through. We get in the way of ourselves and create our limiting beliefs. I am telling you that you have everything you need to continue to see the sun if you allow it, but most importantly believe it.

When you find yourself confronted and battling with the “w” words of wallowing, wondering, waiting and worrying I want you to take a moment and force yourself to be present while feeling them. Really focus on what is contributing to these feelings and why you are hanging on to them. Now ask yourself if you like how you feel? Decide if the emotions and accompanying actions are helping you move forward or are holding you back. Be honest with yourself. I am pretty confident in saying you are going to find the “w” words really are not worth it and that you do not like being trapped within your world of suffering. It is now your time to flip the switch!!!

Let’s replace the “w” words that are holding us back. Wallowing can be replaced with a steady positive attitude. Wondering can be replaced with certainty. Waiting can be replaced with making things happen and taking control. Worrying can be replaced with trusting the journey and finding peace in the chaos. Allow yourself to wear sunglasses every day because the sun in your world is so bright!


Taralee received a dual Bachelor’s Degree in Clinical/Counseling Psychology and Criminal Justice from Moravian College. She received her Special Education Teacher certification from DeSales University. Taralee is a NJ certified Teacher of the Handicapped, and has been working in the home and school settings for over 15 years. Taralee is currently President of the Board of Trustees for the Southern Regional New Jersey Early Intervention Collaborative, she is serving in her fourth year as a Board member. 
Taralee’s most important job is raising her three creative and inquisitive children (ages 9, 7, and 4) in Southern NJ. 
Taralee’s book “100 Things To Do Before You Are 10” was published in April 2014. 
Please visit her Facebook page or send an e-mail for ordering information.


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