When Kindness Goes Wrong with Lettie McArthur

Guest Post by Lettie McArthur for the Kind Kindred series.

When Kindness Goes Wrong

With kindness being defined as above how can it sometimes go wrong? It doesn’t seem possible. The words “kindness” and “wrong” seem incompatible – like magnets that won’t attach at their opposite ends. Kindness is supposed to be “right” – always.

Acts of kindness are based on love for one another. They are sometimes planned but are often not preconceived. They happen spontaneously because people have a genuine concern for the well being of others. We hear about kindness on the news. We read books about kind acts. We are their source – their point of origination. Kindness is deeply rooted within almost all of us and so it easily spills on to another – often with intent to be kind but more often because it is just who we are. Human beings are a kind species. How then can a gesture that is based on kindness sometimes get misinterpreted and have a reaction that is just the opposite of what you were anticipating? I don’t know the answer to this but it can happen and with consequences that leave us shocked and hurt. Something that is sent out into the universe with the best of intentions can suddenly rebound right back to you with anger and harsh words. In a worst case scenario it can result in the end of a relationship whether it is a friend, a fellow worker or a casual acquaintance. I suppose it gets screwed up in the translation because we are human. We make mistakes. No matter the role we play in it, the message goes wrong. The heartfelt pain that occurs when you have inadvertently hurt another person is unbearable. It confounds us when we can’t get them to believe that our intent was good and kind and based on love. They simply got a different “read” on it. The relationship can be permanently damaged.

A relationship lost should be remembered for the best part of it and not the way it ended.

Be thankful for the time you were allowed together and don’t question why it had to come to a heartbreaking conclusion. We beat ourselves up for our mistakes but we should never beat ourselves up for a kind mistake. Knowing that your heart was in the right place, even if only you know it, gives us the strength to move forward and continue with our journey – a path paved with kindness, love and good intention.

Lettie McArthur is the owner and designer of For Giving Works Jewelry. She is based in Georgia and has been making jewelry for 3 years. Her For Giving Works Jewelry business was inspired by a story of forgiveness and love which makes each piece a journey from the first knot to the last. Her jewelry has been shipped all over the world and each sale adds to a journey that has proved true, in its most literal sense, that forgiving works.


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