People talk a lot about letting things go. “Just let it go.” “Don’t let that sink in.” “Get over it.”

It’s popular advice and it’s hugely valuable. I even have the words “Let Go” tattooed on my body to help me remember…and yet it can often seem impossible to do.

The expectation to simply let something go when you still feel its impact isn’t always realistic.

What is realistic is carrying it differently – looking at what you’re carrying through different eyes and bringing a new perspective to an old situation.

Here’s what I mean.

Say you notice that you feel nervous before important meetings or presentations. Then you get through them and recognize things went fine and you did really well. You probably chastise yourself for feeling nervous ahead of time. You carry the worry of feeling nervous into the next meeting or presentation and letting go seems like an impossible task.

What if you carried the nervousness differently instead of trying to let go by force?
What if the nervousness is a sign that you care deeply about your work and strive for excellence?
What if you can ALSO see that you do great work when you are nervous?
What if instead of carrying the nervousness in a way that weighs you down, you let it be part of your journey? Not something to fix. Not something that you need to change, but something that is evidence of your commitment to excellence. What if, and yes, I’m repeating this part for emphasis, you ALSO let yourself see that you do great work even when nerves are present?

What are you carrying that you could carry differently? If letting go doesn’t feel like the right solution, look for different ways of carrying what’s weighing you down. As any hiker will tell you, the right gear makes all the difference. Play with some different gear and find what helps you carry things differently.