What I Do When I Don’t Want To

Post by Jo Anna Rothman.

What I Do When I Don’t Want To

There are some days, like today, when I can’t find it. It being the spark. The creative sizzle that springs up from inside of me… the river of words and thoughts and ideas… the cord of YES that connects me to the all that is. The one that makes the writing a big ball of ease and electricity. That one. Some days, like today, it’s hard to find. ?

Somedays, it is right there. I can dive in and play. Letting myself be overtaken by the delicious ponderings that made their way into my noggin.  I love those days. I cherish them. I do my absolute best to cultivate them.  I indulge in my muses and dance with inspiration wildly so as the keep the sacred connection to my creative juiciness alive and kicking. And yet… I have come to see that there are days when the pulse is just harder to find.?

I used to hide from those moments. Making stories that somehow I was bad. That I did something wrong. Not enough. Too much. This could easily spin into deeper judgments about my work all along. I could conjure a cloud of discontent in a second if I let myself. 

?That’s not the game I play anymore. I no longer run. When those days happen, I sit in them. They are just moments. Times where I get to just be in what is present…even if it is uncomfortable. I know now that just because it seems like I am living in a desert of ideas, there is still life here.  Still thoughts that want to be expressed. They may not be pretty. Or productive.  But the doubts deserve a home.  The emptiness too.  They deserve my attention… in the grand scheme of my creative life.  ?

It is in these moments, where in the past I would have given up and forgotten my promises of production, that I do it anyway.  That I write anyway.  I remember the depth of my commitment and allow that to run the show, rather than the judgment of dearth my mind is seeing.?

The days where I can’t find my spark…they bring me home.  They allow me to know that the expression and the life I am committed to cannot be swayed by a day or so of lack. I am granted the opportunity to anchor into to the truth. For me, that is, that I write. It is that I live creatively.  That I express myself and share the fruits regularly. No matter what blocks of whimsy or worry may have shown up.  These moments remind me that I am more than a story. I am writer. And so I write… no matter what.

I’m Jo Anna. Jo Anna Rothman, MA if you are being fancy. I’m a Wizardess of love. Mistress of change. Conjurer of Electric Creative Wholeness.

I am here to invite and inspire you to live the best human experience ever. I connect folks to their soul, their purpose, their absolute and amazing joy. I coach. I write. I facilitate the amazing Receiving Project.  Most of all, I have a damn good time!

To read more of Jo Anna’s guest posts on Kind Over Matter click here!

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