There’s never a right time

photo by Jenny Ingalls Nelson

I’ve changed a lot of things at some pretty inconvenient times in my life. I left a relationship 3 months before I was supposed to get married, I left 2 jobs when I was doing very well, and I’m starting a business at a time in my life when things had just started to hum along nicely.

Aside from the starting the business piece, I am able to look at those other changes with the gift of hindsight, and see that I underestimated my power to change for a very long time. I can clearly see the gifts I’ve received from all of those big changes (the right marriage, new professional opportunities, etc.).

Just before I sat down to write this, I received a rejection email for a possible speaking engagement. First reaction? Let me fit myself into her box! I want to speak more; I can make this work!

Whoa. Time to put the brakes on for a minute. Am I really considering fitting myself into someone else’s mold? Yup. I sure am. Why?

Because pain has power. Those big changes I made in the past were motivated by pain, and the pain had gotten to a point where change was the only option. It seemed dramatic and inconvenient on the outside, but on the inside, it had been a long time coming. The pain of staying stuck finally outweighed the fear of change.

Rejection and I have reached that same point. The pain of feeling rejected no longer outweighs the fear of owning my truth. In the past, I spent months or years trying so hard to avoid the pain. I was queen of everything looking OK. Talk about prolonging the Ouch. This time, I’m more in tune to the feelings that come with trying to fit into someone else’s box, and I am choosing to step into those feelings, not avoid them.

Feeling the hurt and disappointment of rejection is still hard. Trust me, I’m literally sitting with it right now and taking some baby steps toward change. I’m not allowing myself to respond to the email until I’m sure I can do so without compromising myself. I reached out to a fellow entrepreneur to explain how I’m feeling and get some support. I’m writing this post.

As I’m stepping into these feelings, I can feel the disappointment subsiding. The deeper truth is rising to the surface, and that truth is that I’m not the right match for this opportunity. That doesn’t take the sting away; it’s simply another thing that happens to be true at the same time. Yes, being rejected is disappointing AND I don’t want to pursue opportunities that make me compromise me. Both are true.

So, while I didn’t expect to wake up this morning to rejection, and my first reaction was to repeat old patterns, I chose a little differently this time. I’ve been here, and I know I can access that power. I’m not going to underestimate my capacity for change this time. I am taking those baby steps, and that counts for a whole lot.

Thanks for being on the journey with me.

?, Lara

CLICK TO TWEET Don’t underestimate your capacity for #change. Baby steps are still big progress.

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