There Is No Hole

Post by Jo Anna Rothman.


print by LindsayPaceArt on etsy

There Is No Hole

You’ve heard of that hole. The one people are always trying to fill. With drugs. With sex. With food. With shopping. The one that people try and fill with God. With love. With processing and healing. Some hope the perfect job. The perfect partner. The perfect home will fill it forever. “If only I could find that one thing I am supposed to be doing…” “If only that dreamy person from across the room would waltz over and save me…” You’ve heard of this hole. Maybe you have felt it. Tried to fill it with whatever your mind told you would would make it all be better. Though, chances are, you never could. No amount of anything seems to make it right. The reason you have never been able to fill the hole is because it doesn’t exist.

There is no hole. There never was. Never will be. If there was, someone would have figured out how to fill it back up again. And yet all you ever hear are stories of folks trying to plug it. And even if the process is overwhelmingly positive, they never seem to get to a place where they can stop. The hole feels like a bottomless pit and they must shovel something into it all times in an attempt appease it. The reason nothing works is because there simply is no hole.

But, but, but you feel it. You know there is a hole. There is something that is large. Open. Painful. And yes, perhaps there is. But it is no hole. A hole is empty space. Nothingness. What you feel is so very far from nothing. It is full. Writhing. Wild. It is a dense jungle where you fear to tread. It is filled to the brim with feelings, ideas, beliefs, stories, energy. It is real. But it is not a hole. It is a wilderness ready to be explored. And what you feel, when the ache washes over you, is the call to come, shine your light. Heal.

What you call the hole is so amazingly full of life. It is rich. Vibrant. And it probably holds things that are not pleasant. Anger. Sadness. Shame. Grief. It holds memories of trauma. Pain. There are reasons that you have not wanted to look at it… or touch it. There are reasons that you have wanted to pretend that it was empty. But mixed in with all of that are sources of the vital energy you have been searching for. There is a creativity, waiting, that is beyond your hoping. There are parts of you that have survived and might just be ready to unfurl their wisdom if they could just see the light of day.

What you have been trying to fill is full. Overflowing. What it needs is to be unpacked. To be loved. To be seen. You don’t have to do it all at once. Small dips into this new territory can do wonders. You don’t have to do it alone. There are therapists, healers, coaches, friends. There are books and courses and prayer chains. But you do have to do it… if you want the life that calls to you. You can no longer walk around holding the story of your brokenness. This so-called hole is the key to your wholeness.

Jo Anna Rothman, MA is an intuitive coach and facilitator of The Receiving Project. She revels in assisting people in falling in love with their lives. She is committed to living a life full of pleasure, purpose and enthusiasm. And perhaps most important, she knows the secret to the perfect s’more.

To read more of Jo Anna’s guest posts on Kind Over Matter click here!

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