The Importance of Self-Kindness (and how to deepen yours)

Do you show the same level of kindness to yourself that you show to other people?

If you’re like most of us the answer is probably no. While kindness towards others is encouraged and celebrated, we often shy away from showing that same kindness towards ourselves out of fear of appearing selfish or self-involved.

But self-kindness is just as important, even more so, than kindness towards others. Without self-kindness we are less able to weather life’s challenges and less likely to celebrate life’s gifts. As much as we might value kindness towards others, it’s hard to give that kindness in a sustainable way without also extending those same principles to the way we treat ourselves.

Self-kindness is a crucial ingredient for being the best version of ourselves – especially if kindness towards others is one of our core values. When we are kind to ourselves we model what that looks like to others. We are more likely to share our gifts and skills with the world and more likely to encourage (meaning “give courage to”) people to speak their truth and show up fully as themselves.

Like most of us, my relationship with self-kindness has been rocky. Like many of the clients I now work with, I believed I needed to be hard on myself to keep up in life. I pushed myself to do more and be more, but from a place of fear and “not enough,” rather than a place of love. Needless to say this didn’t work. I felt insecure about who I was and my place in the world. Most days I felt stressed, anxious and nothing I did seemed please the critical voices in my head. Although I was doing fine on paper, I was secretly self-harming, dealing with addiction and desperately unhappy.

I finally accepted that the way I was living wasn’t working, I started seeing a counselor. Although it took another few years to gain emotional equilibrium, that was a key turning point. I devoured personal development books, learned more about psychology and tried to figure out who I was underneath all of my beliefs, conditioning and defenses. This is all still in progress – the more I learn, the more I’m sure it’s a lifelong journey; and it’s changed my life in ways I could not have imagined 10 years ago.

A few years ago I started a personal blog to work through some of the ideas and epiphanies I was encountering at the time and share some of the more interesting things I was reading. That evolved into Becoming Who You Are and I feel privileged to share the importance of self-kindness and similar topics with readers and coaching clients today.

Many wise and wonderful coaches and writers are on a similar quest to spread the word about why self-kindness is a crucial part of our lives and necessary for our well-being. Starting today, May 3rd, I’m teaming up with 20 of them to offer The Self-Kindness Kit. This is a bundle of 21 books, courses and programs on the topic of self-kindness, including Lara’s wonderful course Breathe. Acknowledge. Release. that will give you a chance to deepen the most important relationship in your life – the one with yourself. Individually these products are worth $855, however between now and 11.59 PDT on Thursday May 5th, you can get them all for just $79.

Self-kindness is a powerful force in our daily lives which is why we’re paying it forward with this bundle. 10% of each sale will go to the charity To Write Love on Her Arms, an organization dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.

The Self-Kindness Kit is only available for 72 hours so click here to get your copy. Save over 90% on these wonderful products and kick-start your self-kindness journey today. 

Hannah Braime is a coach and writer who believes the world is a richer place when we have the courage to be fully self-expressed. She shares practical psychology-based articles, tools and resources on living a full and meaningful life over at: Becoming Who You Are.

You can also connect with her on: Facebook | Pinterest | Twitter

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