I am 3 years off 50 and in that hideous stage of Perimenopause. I have watched as many of my friends over the years have flown through hormonal times with no problems whatsoever. They got pregnant easily, never had any miscarriages and “that time of the month” was a breeze.

For me, it has never been easy. I had 5 miscarriages on the journey of trying to have our kids. Doctors told me I would never had kids but lo and behold I have 2 of them.

There are so many parts of this time that I am struggling with.

I have always carried weight. No matter what I do now, my hormones stop me from losing it. Well-meaning friends have often commented on how much better I would feel if I lost the weight. But alas, no luck, courtesy of my crazy hormones.

The hardest part of this journey has been the emotional roller coaster. As my family watched from the sidelines constantly asking me why I am so sensitive; I quietly drive away, round the corner and fall in a heap so they won’t see me cry. Why am I crying???? I don’t know.

Then there are the moments when I feel 105 years old. My joints are so sore that I can’t seem to move. The many communities that I have joined on Facebook have kept me feeling like I am not crazy – sympathizing with me and letting me know they, too, are walking the same journey.

Like it wasn’t hard enough being a woman at the best of times, now this!

As I keep trying to move forward, I ground myself – pushing back and trying to control everything that seems so out of control.

If you are a family member, a husband, a daughter or a son, living with someone going through this – be kind, be understanding. Know that the perimenopausal woman in your life is doing her best to control her body – a body that has a mind of its own, a body that seems to be failing her in every way possible. Know that this person is doing their best to regain control.

I cannot give reasons for why I am so out of control or why I cry at the drop of a hat or why normal everyday things set me off. I sure as hell look forward to the day when this is over. I will be buying myself a big bottle of Moet and toasting myself. I really look forward to that day.

Good luck my Perimenopausal Sisters. May the force be with you – and me.