“It’s okay to fail.” “You can always try again.” “This rejection is setting you up for your blessing.” Parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, friends and family may say words like this in the hopes of sparking encouragement and empowerment. However, it often feels easier said than done when you find yourself facing rejection for the nth time or just can’t seem to get something right. It feels awful, and many people begin to feel low, disappointed or even bitter.
When facing failures and rejection of all kinds, it is incredibly important to be kind to yourself. Here are 8 ways you can practice kindness toward yourself during hard seasons.
- Take a Break
There is so much beauty in taking a pause. When we pause and give ourselves a break, we allow our bodies and minds to restore and refocus. Taking time to relax gives us the chance to reflect, process, and even rejuvenate ideas as we consider our next steps. Try stepping away from what you’ve been working hard on. Engage in peaceful activities such as a walk, meditation or prayer.
- Hold Onto Your Faith and Identity
When we face failure or rejection, it’s easy to lose confidence in our own strengths. During these times, holding onto your faith and remembering who you are can help you feel grounded and confident. As a person of Christian faith, I have found that leaning into my beliefs has helped me through many uncertain moments. Regardless of your faith background, holding onto your beliefs and core identity can help you remain grounded. If you are not religious, focus on your values, strengths and the qualities that define you.
- Reach Out to a Supportive Friend or Family Member
Going through difficulties is challenging; but feeling alone makes it even harder. Reaching out to a supportive friend or family member can make a significant difference. As a healthcare professional, I also recognize the importance of seeking support from providers. A primary care doctor, psychiatrist or therapist can be valuable sources of support during difficult seasons.
- Speak Life Through Positive Self-Talk and Affirmations
There is great power in speaking positively to yourself. One of the most meaningful ways to practice kindness daily is to be mindful of how you speak to yourself internally. Everyone experiences hardship. The ability to encourage yourself with positive, compassionate self-talk during these times can be deeply beneficial.
- Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness and respect. A helpful approach is to speak to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend in the same situation. What would you say to someone you care about who was experiencing rejection or failure? Offer yourself that same empathy and understanding.
- Grant Yourself Grace
Life can be incredibly hard in ways we do not always anticipate. Why make it harder by placing excessive pressure on yourself? Granting yourself grace means allowing flexibility in your expectations. It means recognizing that things may not always unfold as planned and that missteps are part of the journey. Failure only truly occurs when we stop trying. As long as you continue to make efforts—even if that means changing course—you are still moving forward.
- Reframe Failures
Sometimes failures are not final outcomes but alternate paths, different doors or unexpected opportunities. Often, failures become opportunities for growth in relationships, the workplace or personal aspirations. When we reframe failures as opportunities for growth, we acknowledge that no one is perfect. Instead of aiming for perfection, aim to do your best. Even if you miss the mark there is room to learn and improve.
- Care for and Move Your Body
When dealing with disappointment, one of the kindest things you can do is care for your body. This may include exercising, going for a walk, enjoying your favorite cup of tea or taking a relaxing shower. Eating well and finding ways to move your body—such as stretching or walking—can help boost mood-supporting neurotransmitters like serotonin and endorphins.
The greatest kindness we can give ourselves is during times of hardship. Kindness matters not only in how we treat others, but also in how we treat ourselves. When we practice self-kindness, we build perseverance, resilience and the ability to manage stress. Life is a long journey filled with both sour and sweet moments. Let’s commit to being kind to ourselves through every obstacle and every victory.
