Rain grows flowers, not thunder

photo by Jenny Ingalls Nelson

I’m not really a yeller. My husband and I aren’t loud fighters, and I’ve never gotten into a screaming match with any of my girlfriends.

I don’t think love has to be tough to be effective. Direct, sure, but not tough.

How we talk to ourselves is no different. Think about a time when you made a mistake. I can be pretty clumsy, and recall a Thanksgiving a few years ago when everyone had left, and all of the dishes were washed. The wine and champagne glasses from dinner were all drying on my kitchen island. I was walking past the island to finally go to sleep and bumped it. Can you guess what happened next? All of the glasses came crashing down, glass shattered all over the floor and I just stood there. There was no yelling or screaming, but I definitely spoke to myself in a pretty unkind way.

“you’re so stupid” “not again” “now you have to replace them” “you better clean this up since it’s your fault”

That’s my thunder, and boy can it be loud inside my head.

In years since, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on that thunder; that internal raised voice. You know what? It doesn’t change anything. Actually, I take that back. It changes a lot, but not in the way we want. Raising your voice to yourself doesn’t stop the mistakes or mishaps. It only shames you and makes it that much more difficult to love yourself.

So I’ve made a conscious effort to watch my words. I notice when I say those thunderous things to myself, and I quietly apologize and replace those words with forgiveness, love and understanding. Those are my rain. Those are the words and actions that grow flowers and make me able to love myself.

Raise your words. Rain love and forgiveness and understanding and compassion on yourself. I promise you, you will flourish.

Thanks for being on the journey with me.

?, Lara

CLICK TO TWEET Rain grows flowers, not thunder. #selflove via @KindOverMatter

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