These are chaotic times in the world. Whatever your perspective might be, it is clear that there is unrest and stress for all of us. The news stories describe one tragedy after another, one expression of hate and negativity after another. Even the Super Bowl, a time of escapism, featured commercials talking about hate and discord and what we need to do about them.
Compounded with whatever personal challenges we are dealing with; it can all be utterly overwhelming. We, and particularly women, focus on the care of others during these times of trouble. We forget that instruction from air travel… “Put on your own oxygen mask first.”
How do we find the strength to give to others when our own emotional and psychological wells are empty? Self-care. Caring for oneself is not selfish; rather the opposite. Practicing self-care allows us to nourish and replenish our own “wells” allowing us to give to others.
How do we find a way to nurture ourselves?
As Jean Shinoda Bolen, an author and psychiatrist has said “When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.”
There are seven aspects of life to find that space for self-care: mental, emotional, physical, environmental, spiritual, recreational and social. The activities can be anything from the most elaborate to the simple quiet ones.
Some examples:
- Mental: As a book by Ram Dass says, “Be Here Now.” Be in the moment. Close your eyes, take a deep breath focusing only on that breath. Try journaling. Step away from social media and the news.
- Emotional: Positive affirmations and gratitude. Recognize that emotions are not inherently good or bad; but the attachment to them can create their own chaos.
- Physical: Move your body. A sedentary life creates its own stresses. Hydrate and focus on nourishing foods.
- Environmental: It has been said that chaos in our external environment can reflect chaos in the internal. Surround yourself with items that bring you joy. Get out in nature; the natural world can inspire and heal.
- Spiritual: Focus on what brings you meaning, whether it is a meditation or a religious practice. Volunteer to help others in an activity that also feeds your soul.
- Recreational: Have fun! Find a hobby. Creativity can not only provide recreation but be meditative and soul-fulfilling.
- Social: Connect with others, whether in person or virtually. Touch base with yourself as you connect to determine how relationships make you feel. Are they draining you or feeding your soul?
Christopher Germer, an author, psychologist and co-creator of the Mindful Self Compassion program has said, “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
Put on your own oxygen mask first.
