Pep Talks from a Social Failure, Part 2

Let’s Talk About…Self-Esteem

Hey guys! What’s up? I know I missed last month and I’m so sorry about that; but hey, what can you do about mother nature? In January I talked about “friends” AKA those bad friends you don’t need in your life. And now to continue my series, Pep Talks from A Social Failure, I’m going to cover the so over talked about subject self-esteem. I will say however, that if you know me, you already know this is going to be a bit different; and if you don’t, well now you know. So without further ado, here we go!

The first base that I really want to hit is what self-esteem really is versus what the common perception of it is. When you think of self-esteem, typically you think about loving yourself and being okay with who you are. But that’s not necessarily what self-esteem is. You see self-esteem is actually a combination of lots of things. Although two things are loving yourself and being okay with who you are, other important components are confidence and never doubting yourself. Always remember that self-esteem is all around feeling good about yourself.

The second base, as always, I am going to preach to you a horrible life lesson that I learned in school. Why? Because you’ve got to be kidding me if you don’t think they’re fairly comical. Come on, we all know I have a ridiculous amount of social failures to talk about. They don’t call me the queen for nothing! When I was a freshman in high school, I had possibly the lowest self-esteem you could get. Keep in mind, this was right after I slowly started realizing my friends weren’t good for me. I hadn’t found anything I was any good at, or that I really liked; and I was pretty much being pressured to pick a career path for my classes. I didn’t have friends that really supported me or even tried to make me feel better about myself. But the biggest deal was that I had absolutely no idea I had anxiety yet.

Halfway through the first semester I was talking to my school counselor about my friends because I felt so helpless. After talking with me, she suggested I talk to a professional about the possibility of anxiety. I didn’t know that much about it at the time and the thought really scared me. I ended up being diagnosed. I felt worse than I had before and I honestly had absolutely no idea how that was possible. About a month later my mother had come to pick me up to take me to a doctor’s appointment, and on my way down I ran into my theatre teacher also heading towards the office. When he saw my mother, he stopped and began to rant to her about my acting skills, my creativity, and how well I was able to make the best decisions for the team. Until that point I had never had a teacher really tell me that I was special, that I was different, that I could do things other kids couldn’t. After that I really began to pay closer attention to the way I acted in theatre.

What I realized was that I acted differently. I was happy and open to the people in my class, I was excited to be there and energetic in my performances. It was as if I was a different person. I realized that I was confident in that class and when I got to thinking about it, theatre wasn’t something I had to try to understand, it just came to me. I had found something I was genuinely good at. After that I started to try and act as confident as I was in theatre. My grades began to improve, I made new friends and I actually felt more confident. People began to notice me and my anxiety got a little better.

So I guess the lesson I’m really trying to teach all of you today is that you don’t have to be confident to have self-esteem, you don’t have to feel good about yourself to have self-esteem. You can fake it, fake that confidence, fake that self-love, fake it all. Because eventually you will see that you are someone worth loving, worth respecting, worth being friends with, worth being something. Eventually you will be confident. You will love yourself.

And that means you’ll end up somewhere in life. Whether it is something you planned for or something unexpected, you will enjoy where you end up because it’s something you worked for.

pep talks 2 coffee

As always, if you aren’t as happy as this cup of coffee you need to reevaluate how you’re living your life.

 

XOXO,

Renee

 

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Renee Hu is a beauty and fashion blogger on ReneeHu.com. She is easily recognized for her humor and unique style of writing. As a blogger that easily relates to anyone else with anxiety, the stories she brings to the table are almost always the laugh-so-hard-you-almost-cry kind. Instagram | Blog

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