Learn to love yourself before anyone or anything else

Have you ever sat back and hated yourself? I mean really, really hated yourself???

I saw a Meme thing (Yeah, I never know how to pronounce that word) that once said “Learn to love yourself before anyone or anything else.”

Sometimes it’s bloody hard to do.

Recently I was challenged in a really significant way. I knew what I had to do, but I also knew that this action would cause a huge amount of hurt and “upsetness” (a seriously good word to have in your bank of awesome words) to people in my life.

But I was going under. I was emotionally eating, I hated something I loved doing and the impact was really significant on my family. The impact on me was even more. I was in tears…a lot.

So, I embarked on trying to fix things. I tried to put some significant boundaries (yeah, another word I am not good at) around myself. I did this while hating myself to the max. But I knew I was going under baby. I was about to crack.

Now don’t get me wrong. You know that I can roar, in fact I can be brutal sometimes. But mostly I have a pretty big heart.

Anyway, suffice to say, it blew up. Although my intentions were pure, they were not seen as that.

So, my question is again: Have you ever hated yourself??? I bet if you answered yes it was because you actually tried to put boundaries around yourself; and in doing so, you hated yourself because you caused someone hurt.

I am no psychologist but I have lived life. I know that in the end these boundaries are good things. I also know that it is not easy to do.

In order to stop hating myself, I was urged by a beautiful Soul Sista in my life to embark on a gratitude journal. I am writing down what I am blessed with every day. More than that she urged me to understand that I was actually, in essence, a good person.

When I look around at all the people I have helped, at all the people who really do think of me as someone kind, I realize…I shouldn’t hate myself. At the end of the day I am really sorry that I caused people hurt. But I needed to do it to survive.

I hope you all start to place boundaries around yourselves, but mostly I hope you never feel that self-hate the way I felt it. It was very uncool and caused me much “upsetness.”

Namaste til next time

Laurainne Marshall (AKA Lo) lives in Sydney, Australia with her 2 kids, Hayley and Jamie, and her soul mate of over 30 years, Graham. Their furbaby is a beautiful Groodle  named Jarrah.
Laurainne has many roles - Wife, Mother, Teacher and Musician. She believes that life is to be lived at full throttle and is deeply spiritual. Her motto is “Grab life and run.” She also believes one person can make a difference in this world and hopes that by sharing her life experiences, she might inspire a few people along the way.
When she is not teaching through the week, you can find Lo belting out 80s hits in her band Soundproofed. You can follow the band on Facebook.

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