Kind Kindred : Tara : Wise Living

Kind Kindred

Tara Sophia Mohr is a writer & life coach, her blog Wise Living is such a safe, positive affirming place, I love stopping by & seeing what she’s written. I have to tell you, when I read her Kind Kindred post, I was blown away, it was so spot-on about everything & really resonated with me, with the things that had been going on recently. Tara’s such a sweet soul, we are so happy to have her share this space with us. Peace to you, always. – Jenn

little pieces, originally uploaded by Philipp Hilpert.

Okay, it’s time to talk about something really important. A subject very dear to my heart.

Growing from difficulty.

Here’s my proposal: Let’s chuck the idea. Let’s throw the whole thing out.

Of course, we will all grow from difficulty at various times in our lives. Life brings that to us, whether or not we choose it.

I’m speaking about something else, the romanticization of choosing paths we know will be hard on our souls, of our habit of choosing environments (jobs and grad schools in particular) because they will “help us grow.”

I’m talking about the willingness of creative people to dive into something they sense will not nurture their creativity because they believe that, if they survive the bootcamp, slogging suck-it-up experience, they’ll have somehow proved or improved themselves.

After sitting on the couch debating job and school decisions with so many of the gorgeous souls in my life, here’s what I have to say about it:

Life is short. You have a particular creative brilliance. You have your dreams. You have a unique contribution to make.

What will unleash your brilliance more–an environment that challenges you or one that embraces you?

One that stretches you from yourself or centers you more deeply in your self?

Perhaps what it comes down to is this: Instead of asking ourselves, “what will help me grow?” maybe we should be asking, “what will help me blossom?”

Creatives aren’t plants. We’re flowers.

You can go do the suffering thing – be part of a workplace or school that you know will not be a place in which you will blossom. You’ll learn some stuff. You’ll make some connections. You’ll get a good line on your resume.

But compare what you will gain from that to what you could accomplish spending a few years in an environment–a job, a school, a community—that nurtured and celebrated you, one that felt like your amazingly juicy right place.

What I’ve seen again and again is this: Creative, brilliant people with something to contribute now, something to say now, convincing themselves that they need to fix or polish some part of themselves, balance this skill with that one, by being in environments that aren’t friendly to who they are.

They convince themselves of this when the truth is that really they could leap now. They could start creating more visibly now. They could own what they have to offer now.

Of course, a part of us likes the idea that we need to go get those other skills or learn this or that first, because that keeps us safe in the box of preparation. It doesn’t call us to leap into action.

I write this because I believe in your unique brilliance. I write it because I’ve seen to many people lose their brilliance by being in a place that put a veil over it.

It’s not so easy to recover it. Some find it again, some don’t.

I write it because I’ve chosen to spend years in environments that sent my creativity running for escape, and I’ve lost years, not only years of producing work, but years of being the joyful, open me that I am when I am creating.

Ask yourself: what is really the shortest distance between my current reality and my doing exactly what I want to do with my life, what I feel I’m meant to do?

How much will I gain from spending time an environment that I know in my gut is not really me, not really nurturing to me? What will I lose in doing this?

What would I gain if I spent the same amount of time in an environment (workplace, school, community) that celebrates and nurtures me? A place that feels like my right place? Who would I be on the other end of that?

What is my right place?

What will be surrounding me when I blossom?

You know the answer. Ask your wisdom. Ask your heart.


Tara Mohr is a writer, coach & personal growth teacher who helps people connect with their own inner wisdom. Visit her blog Wise Living, or click here to receive her free, unconventional Goals Guide, “Turning Your Goals Upside Down and Inside Out to Get What You Really Want.” You can follow her on Twitter at @tarasophia.


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