Oregon. The Pacific Northwest. The names conjured up a series of images for me, mostly based on the visuals from movies I had seen. Rocky coastlines shrouded in mist, cool rainy days, mountains, among them. When I went to visit a family member who’d recently moved there, that’s what I was expecting.
As you can see by the photograph, some of that was true. But mostly, it was not. When we arrived, it was one hundred degrees with blistering sun shining down. Drought season, with wildfires springing up in the brittle brush in the area, spreading haze and smoke throughout the region. Our family member purchasing a portable air conditioner since her new apartment building did not have central air.
I’d had the same experience years ago of imagining a place I’d never seen, when a friend told me he lived on Long Island in New York. As a young woman who hadn’t done much traveling then, I thought Long Island was all like the Hamptons on the far east end of the island with elegant beachfront homes. It was not.
But now, much older and well-traveled, I usually research and have a sense of the place where I’m traveling. All the while, keeping in mind the joy and magic of discovering somewhere new, exploring without preconceived expectations.
It made me wonder. How often do we all make assumptions about a place, a community, a person without knowing the real story? In this divisive world in which we live, people and communities who don’t share our viewpoints are often looked at as the “other,” even the enemy. We can’t uncover the joy of discovering something or someone new if we’re not opening our hearts and minds to something out of our own universe.
The quote “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always,” has been attributed to everyone from Robin Williams to a version by Socrates. People can be guilty of making assumptions about someone else without ever taking the time to truly understand another’s struggles. We seem to have lost the ability to step out of ourselves and understand another’s perspective.
Is it fear that prevents us? Insecurity? It’s hard to define for each individual. It is clear; however, that focusing on our differences without celebrating them has led us down a very dark pathway.
How often do we live in a place, and not really understand its history? Growing up near Boston, stories of the American Revolution and patriotism were almost part of my DNA. I’d walked countless times along the Freedom Trail, a walking path connecting sixteen historic sites integral to the Revolution. My graduation from nursing school was at Faneuil Hall; my wedding was at King’s Chapel, both stops on that trail. What was never discussed, never taught in all those decades of my life was the connection of the founder of Faneuil Hall to the slave trade, something I learned a few years ago at an exhibit there. Hard to understand the whole picture if there are pieces missing.
Opening our eyes, our minds, our hearts can not only educate us in unique ways but provide a basis for empathy. Empathy, which has been defined, as “walking in another’s shoes that don’t quite fit.”
As I walked through the baking streets of Eugene and Portland, Oregon, as I scrambled down rocky pathways to get to the misty beach at Devil’s Elbow State Park, I was reminded of how much we all don’t know that we don’t know. The seacoast of New England, where I grew up, was very different from the towering rocks and beach caves in Oregon, but each had their own unique beauty. I was reminded of how vast and diverse this country can be, and the blessings and magic of that.
When we open ourselves to possibility, without making assumptions, we can see the unique beauty of the world in which we live. We can respect and celebrate the unique beauty of each other.
