It’s all Part of the Process

Post by Laura Summers for the Love for Love series.


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“Oh my gosh! The guy talking extremely loud at the coffee shop while I try and write is bugging me! What an [asshole/idiot/sad sack]. He probably has no [job/friends/life]. If he glances my way, I’m going to [glare at him disapprovingly/flip him off/give him a piece of my mind].”
Literally. This guy is bugging me. Before I know it, I’m thinking and doing some of these things subconsciously. Judgment and stink eye. Hard to believe, cause I’m such a nice person, right?

Many posts ago, I referred to my subconscious thoughts as the little ticker tape that runs along the bottom of the TV screen during the football game. You think you’re not seeing it. You think you aren’t paying any attention to the information contained in that little tape scrolling right to left across the screen. Turns out, those thoughts are pervasive and much more damaging to the practice of living authentically you. Until you start paying full attention to the information contained in those thoughts, you can never fully effect change in your life.

Have you ever stopped to pay attention to what you are thinking when you think you aren’t? Try it. Practice checking in with yourself in moments you find yourself on autopilot. What you’ll find is your ticker tape thoughts are wrought with prejudices – the attitudes that dictate your perception of the people and the world around you. I’ve heard it said, and I’ve said it myself, “This is just WHO I AM,” and that’s complete bullshit. It is who you are if you want it to be, and if you allow it to be.

Who we are must be fluid. Accepting that it was my choice to be controlling of every situation in my life in a way that wasn’t healthy for me or anyone else because it’s just ‘who I am’ is foolish. It circulates a story. A story I choose to tell, over and over, about myself in the hopes of explaining bad behavior is neither healthy, nor is it living free of fear.

The guy in the coffee shop bugged me until he finally left. I didn’t actually flip him off, or give him dirty looks. I quickly recognized, acknowledged and exercised mastery over those thoughts. Do I always succeed in this endeavor? No. There are days I struggle and judge quickly and shout expletives inside my car at a driver I think is mentally incompetent to be on the road with me. But I try to be aware of myself, my subconscious thoughts, and the way they are or aren’t serving me. In the instances where I can catch them, I am much more at peace with myself and the world around me.


Finding that honesty was ALWAYS the best policy and that forgiveness is a gift she strives to live in line with those values. 

Mama to a college quarterback and a rescue pup, she finds joy in a touchdown pass and go fetch. 

Ever working on improving herself, she’ll finally have that bachelors degree in the Spring.


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