Start letting kindness reveal what your niche truly is.

Are you just starting your entrepreneurial odyssey? Are you sick of coaches lecturing that the first thing you have to nail down is your niche? Have you tried…and guessed the wrong niche?

If so, you’re right on schedule. The best way to learn your true niche is not to build empires on guesses (and then freak out when that doesn’t work), but to experiment and see what sticks, step-by-step. Niching is not instant, nor is it something you solve once and put away forever. It’s an evolving response to continual feedback from the people and conditions you encounter.

Here are three questions to help you stop arbitrary niching and find the curious kindness that reveals the flow of enjoying your true niche one step at a time:

1. What’s so You?

We’re often told to start by inventing an avatar for our ideal niche and then base your business around how to serve it. That’s great, except that many entrepreneurs fall into the trap of forgetting about themselves. And you are half the equation!

Instead of just investigating others, we need to investigate ourselves first. “What’s so you?” Not “Who do I have to pretend to be?” but rather “What’s so me that I just can’t hold it inside?”

What’s so you will drive away the wrong niche and magnetize the right one.

2. What about “What?”

If you’ve been “who’d” to death, try flipping the question to “what.” We often ask “Who is my ideal client” and then engineer backwards.

Try asking yourself what, instead. “What do I provide that’s different from what others offer?” “What questions interest me?” “What’s my big idea?” “What do I need in a business relationship?” “What’s special about how I work?” “What hot mess would I enjoy getting my clients out of?”

The more specifically you see your what, the more your niche will emerge.

3. What’s your Worst Trait?

Lead with that! If you feel like you haven’t “focused” enough, maybe your niche is multi-passionate clients who are interested in broad questions. If you are terrified of new things, maybe your niche is clients who are hungry for stability. If the thought of showing up in an office makes you panic, maybe your clients are adventurers and explorers.

Good luck building your business!