Guilt

I grew up in a good Catholic household where guilt was the norm.

My mum worked hard getting up at 5am to ensure the house was spotless before she went to work. Then she came home to start the dinner. I don’t think I ever saw her enjoying just sitting.

I am a teacher and I am very lucky to be off with the kids.

This year, days before Christmas, I had a Uterine Fibroid Embolisation – Yep it kinda sucks having girlie bits. But in the hope that I could start to gain some of my health back, I made the decision to move ahead with it. But in usual guilt felt fashion, I put everyone else before me and made the decision to do the procedure after my last muso gig. That way the others could still work.

Guilty I would impact on the others in the band, I made the call to put me last. Ahhhhhh there it is again – the word guilt.

So now I am 2 weeks after – and guess what? I am still feeling guilty. I feel guilty I couldn’t give the kids a perfect Christmas, that I couldn’t be there for them during family time. I feel guilty that I am home when hubby is off at work. I feel guilty when he comes home and I don’t have anything to show for the day. Now let me be very honest here – Hubby couldn’t care less as long as I am happy and healthy. It is me that is driving this moment.

So here is the question I pose, why do we feel guilty over things beyond our control? Why do we feel bad when we choose sometimes to put ourselves before everyone else?

As I sit here writing this, the AHA moment kicks in. Guess what? I am only human and sometimes to survive we need to stop and re-nourish. The universe has a funny way of putting things in our path to make sure this happens.

So my lovely friends, I cheer today to putting my feet up and recovering, to watching the next episode on NETFLIX. I hope that I am passing on a life lesson to my little family “It is okay to stop the life merry-ground for a while, and recuperate.”

Namaste lovelies till next time,

LO

Laurainne Marshall (AKA Lo) lives in Sydney, Australia with her 2 kids, Hayley and Jamie, and her soul mate of over 30 years, Graham. Their furbaby is a beautiful Groodle  named Jarrah.
Laurainne has many roles - Wife, Mother, Teacher and Musician. She believes that life is to be lived at full throttle and is deeply spiritual. Her motto is “Grab life and run.” She also believes one person can make a difference in this world and hopes that by sharing her life experiences, she might inspire a few people along the way.
When she is not teaching through the week, you can find Lo belting out 80s hits in her band Soundproofed. You can follow the band on Facebook.

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