I was speaking with an old friend over drinks the other night, and mentioned this piece I was mulling over writing. It reminded her of her grandpa — “poppy” she calls him. After he died, dozens of people would come up to her around town and talk about him. Grown men crying over a beer at the pub, speaking of how good this man had been to them; how he’d helped them out with just the smallest little things — tiny kindnesses they would never forget.

He was a simple farmer who lived in a small country town near the Australian coast for fifty years. On his gravestone are written the words, “Do Good, Be Happy.” Words he lived by, and spoke often.

It got me thinking about what we leave behind — what we’re remembered for — the small kindnesses we share, and how essential they are in this short, beautiful, crazy life we live.

“If a man can bridge the gap between life and death, if he can live on after he’s dead, then maybe he was a great man.” ~James Dean

Have you ever lost someone really close to you in this life? It’s such a painful experience, and a great teacher.

I lost my sister in a car accident in 2006. She was 33 years old, and a real angel, with a big heart full of kindness for the world. It was a terrible blow to our family.

I lost a piece of myself then, and it’s taken me all the years since to gradually regain the lost fragments, along with my faith in the beauty and light of the world. It’s been a continual process of healing and growing on so many levels.

When we lose people we love, we grow so fast. Once we’re through the initial shock of grief we’re faced with a choice — to take a stand for life, or let ourselves be run by it. This is their great gift to us! It’s the greatest opportunity for transformation and empowerment.

In a way, they’ve given us some of their life… as we pull into the strength of our own selves, and our commitment to living, the grief turns into personal power. A bit of the essence they left behind is transferred over to us, and into our own lives.

Sometimes there’s a small obstacle to overcome first.

Perhaps the greatest obstacle to joy and expression of our true selves is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of looking bad, fear of losing our life, our job, our loved ones, our marriage — perhaps greatest of all is the fear of unbearable pain and suffering.

All the fears hold us back, and keep us from experiencing the fullness of our lives. Along with worry, fear is one of the the greatest of evils.

But when we overcome the fear of using our own voice — of expressing the beauty of this life — really sharing and touching the lives of those we love with it, we live an immortal life. We transcend so many of the other small fears, and we’re able to create a legacy of goodness and light for the world.

We do this by facing the fears dead on. Only then can we celebrate the true greatness of life.

Never stop sharing your truth — and never think for a moment that the smallest kindness you share is for naught.

In closing…

When I think about my sister — her humongous kind and tender heart, and the way her life was cut short one tragic afternoon at the side of the freeway — it still brings me tears. But when I think about all she’s given me since then — the depth of compassion for the suffering of others, and their losses; the great appreciation for this gift of life, and all its joyous tiny pleasures; the comfort and support of her spirit beside me — my tears turn to hope and peace.

I know that she’s given me the greatest gift I could ask for — the gift of awakened gratitude and hope for this life. I know now in my heart that maybe this life won’t be so hard after all, and that is the greatest comfort…. Thank you my beautiful sister.

What fears still hold you from fully expressing your truth in the world? What is the flavor of the essence you’ll transfer to those still here when you’re gone, and those yet to come?

Satya Colombo is a writer, artist, healer, and online media consultant, dedicated to upholding the light and vision of a better world, and pushing the boundaries of our social evolution together. He can be found at Fierce Wisdom.