Dropping The Supposed Tos

Post by Jo Anna Rothman.


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Dropping The Supposed Tos

The supposed tos. I know them well. I bet you do too. The litany of rules sung by the choir in our minds. Strong voices telling us what is right and what is wrong. We are expected to be nice. Polite. Demure. To not ask for much. Don’t take up too much room. There are business supposed tos. Relationship supposed tos. Supposed tos in all areas of every life ever. They loom large and weave themselves into almost all of the nooks and crannies they can find.

Expectations weigh heavy. We tell stories that these supposed tos are the way to salvation. If we follow them, we won’t make waves and yet we will have what we want. No one will be hurt. No one will be upset. And we will all live happily ever after.

Except we don’t. The supposed tos become a barrier. Walls. Chain linked fences keeping out momentum. Action. Authenticity. A supposed to is someone else’s imposed structure. By its very nature it isn’t coming from the most real, clear and connect part of ourselves. The awesome, creative wonder that is you, doesn’t get to come out and play much when the supposed tos take over.

Success is not guaranteed by doing what you are supposed to. In fact, some of the most awesome stories of triumph come when some do as they are called to do… do as they please and rather than what they think they are supposed to do. And how many times you have heard the woeful tale of that poor soul who did everything they were supposed to do and it went south anyway.

Place limits on your life and your life will be limited. Supposed tos limit your experience. They take away the natural intuitive gifts that point you into the direction of your wild destiny and place your fate in the hands of wisdom that is not for you.

Maybe it’s time to leave them on the side of the road. To trust your own moral and personal compass to guide you. To embrace joy and pleasure over someone else’s rules… to trust that we will act in love and beauty without an encyclopedia of shoulds to keep us on the straight and narrow.

We are not supposed to… but let’s do them anyway. Let’s brag. Screw up. Runaway. Stay and fight. Stay up late. Sleep in. Laze around. Speak up. Laugh too loud. Ask for what we want. Flaunt it. Charge gobs of money. Put ourselves first. Seek pleasure. Make demand. Show our emotions. Be irrational. Eat dessert first. Get messy. Be wild. Be willful. Pretend we know what we are doing. Make up the rules. Have the best time ever, every day… no matter what!

Jo Anna Rothman, MA is an intuitive coach and facilitator of The Receiving Project. She revels in assisting people in falling in love with their lives. She is committed to living a life full of pleasure, purpose and enthusiasm. And perhaps most important, she knows the secret to the perfect s’more.

To read more of Jo Anna’s guest posts on Kind Over Matter click here!

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