Detoxing your Self Talk!

Post by Heather Shafer for the Kind Kindred series.

image courtesy of

Hello Beautiful Souls!

I am beyond thrilled to be doing a series on Detoxing Your Self-Talk for one of my favorite blogs!

The term “Self-Talk” may be familiar to you. We are all doing it much of the time unconsciously. Self-Talk is the internal dialog (thoughts) we have to and about ourselves, what we say out loud to and about ourselves to ourselves and even what we say to others about ourselves. It’s powerful, yet it’s so often an overlooked or totally ignored area in our lives.

What we are thinking and saying to and about ourselves is what we are affirming in our lives. (I know scary concept!) If you had a friend that talked to you the way that you talk to and about yourself, would you still be friends? For most of us that answer is likely a big ‘ol NO!

What we are affirming is helping to shape our experience in the world. When we are constantly affirming the negative thoughts and beliefs that is going to be what we are always looking for, no matter how much good is tucked inside of life. If I am affirming with my internal and external dialog that I am Fat, Broke, Worthless then guess what I will see all around me? Guess what types of people and experiences I will attract into my life. Those things, people and stories that “prove” me right.

With our Self-Talk we are teaching people how to treat us, even if we don’t realize it. If I am not treating myself with respect and I am putting myself down all the time then that is showing others on some level it’s OK to be snide or mean about/with me.

Our Self-Talk is often made up of old wounds (and those so often passed on from our family growing up), society standards that we feel like (or have been told) we are “failing”. In other words I believe it’s often and largely being shaped by our ingrained beliefs about ourselves/life.

There is constant chatter going on in our heads (and then out of our mouths). We are in default mode and unfortunately for many of us that mode is not an empowering or positive one!

For most of us these are things we have been saying or believed for a long time, much of the time without even being fully aware of it. So be gentle with yourself about it. This is not about beating yourself up or blaming yourself, it’s simply about being aware of the power our self-talk has on our lives!

If you were to shift one thing about your life, learning to shift your self-talk, I believe, deserves that spot! (Thankfully though we don’t have to choose just one!)

Next week we start to really notice our self-talk, however this week I want to encourage you to do an experiment in a light-hearted way.
Choose something to focus on, something that is not a big deal like the color of a car, or word, even a sound. This week affirm to yourself “there sure are a lot of red cars around lately”. Say that to yourself or something to that effect using the item of focus. Repeat that phrase a few times a day, notice how in tune you are with that color, sound, word because you are focusing on it, speaking about it.

The great news about all of this is that it can be shifted, though it’s a journey, it’s very much possible to shift your self-talk and I believe in the process to start the shifting of your beliefs.

Here is to living Inspired, Creative and Empowered

Hi I am Heather Shafer and I am a certified Dream Coach, and Holistic Life Coach, and Inspirationalist! I believe that connecting to our deepest and most creative Selves is critical to living our best, most powerful, lives. My purpose in life is to learn to express myself fully and authentically, and to teach and inspire others to do the same. My website features inspiring stories, tips and ideas to help you live an Inspired, Creative and Empowered life.

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