Dear KOM, I don’t know where to start

image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons


This week’s Dear KOM email expresses an all too common feeling – I don’t know where to start. I’m betting that our writer is not the only one that’s ever had that thought, so I hope this response resonates with many of you.


Dear KOM,

I’m ready to make changes. I’m ready to let go. I have lists galore but I have no idea where to start. It’s all so overwhelming. Help!



Dear P.C.,

Welcome! *LOL* I often say this simple words to friends, family and clients to let them know (in a light-hearted way) that they’re not alone. Change is overwhelming! Doesn’t it always feel like the initial momentum, list-making, idea-storm fades so quickly? Yeah. I feel you!

So, what’s a girl (or guy!) to do when she’s made all of her lists, has had tons of ideas, but has absolutely no idea what’s next? Here are some things that have worked for me. Not everything will feel right for you, but I wanted to share multiple steps, so you can pick and choose what will work best for you!

Stop adding things to lists, stop making lists, stop beating yourself up for not doing anything on the lists. Take a moment and look at everything you’ve come up with – all of the ideas, all of the brainstorms, all of it. Appreciate it. Express some gratitude for it. Acknowledge that even though you feel like you haven’t started, you really have done a lot!

I know, you’re probably sick of hearing me say this, but seriously folks, I know when I’m most stressed or frustrated, I totally forget to do this. Sometimes taking a few big, deep breaths is unbelievably beneficial.

Sit with everything you’ve already come up with. Re-read the lists. See if they still feel true. Prioritize the tasks. Slowly go over everything you want to do, and pay attention to what you feel in your body. I’m betting you’ll notice a more physical reaction to some of the ideas and tasks. That’s your body telling you that those are the “biggies”. The most important. The biggest truths.

Tragically, I’m not Super Woman. Sometimes I wish I could do everything and be perfect, but clearly, that’s just crazy talk! The best parts of life are the parts we enjoy, so let’s focus on those. Using the FEEL! exercise above, ditch the ideas and lists that don’t generate a strong physical feeling. If ditching them altogether doesn’t feel comfortable, you can always come back to them later.

Now that you have a more focused list of ideas and tasks, refocus. Look at them again and dig in. These are the most important things to you – your greatest truths. What better place to focus your energy?!

Much of the work I do with clients focus on noticing. It’s always the place we start, and for those of you like me (kinda Type A, kinda controlling, etc.!), it’s sometimes more difficult than taking action. Action is what we live for, but like P.C., that momentum only lasts so long. I’ve had great success, personally, by following the steps above, and have started sharing this philosophy with my clients. You’d be surprised what your body already knows, when you just slow down enough to listen to it.

I hope these ideas provide some benefit, P.C. As always, feel free to check in at a later date, and know that this whole community is supporting you.

As always, thanks for being on this journey with me.

?, Lara

Dear KOM is an opportunity for all of you to write to me with any questions, comments, curiosities, stories, etc. ANYTHING you want to share! Every Saturday, I will choose 1 Dear KOM email and respond to or share it here!

~See an awesome news story or quote that you know KOM readers would enjoy? Bring it on!
~Have a question for me, about me or about Kind Over Matter? Hit me!
~Want a little free (and yes, we can ABSOLUTELY make any part of this anonymous) advice about something from a total stranger? I’m ready.

Consider this a wide open door. Bring on the questions, stories of love, sharing, and advice seeking. Bring it here.

Simply email and put Dear KOM in the subject line. That’s it! I will respond to the email that will be featured that coming Saturday so that we can work out any little details. Don’t worry if your email doesn’t get a response in the same week – I have a hunch that I’ll feature it in the future, and will contact you when it’s your week!

Share your stories, questions and general awesomeness. I promise, it will benefit everyone.

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