Coming Together and Falling Apart

Life is a series of coming together and falling apart. Pema Chodron teaches us that things “come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”

Admittedly, it’s easiest to embrace this concept when things feel good.

And, it might be most important to embrace it when things feel challenging.

Life is ever-changing. Moment to moment, breath to breath. One of the many lessons of the last few pandemic years is that things are much less certain than we expect them to be.

So what if we stop expecting things to be certain?

What if, instead, we (try to!) embrace the coming together and the falling apart?

What if when things are challenging, we can recognize that it’s not a permanent state? Hard times are OK. Difficult feelings, emotions and conversations all have their place…and they all end.

What if when things are joyous, we also recognize it’s not a permanent state? Wonderful, exciting, joy-filled moments get to be savored, felt and remembered because they too, end.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Coming together and falling apart.

We can start accepting the ups & the downs, the zigs & the zags, the ease & the challenges – even when we want to change them – because as  Carl Rogers described “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”

The same is true of accepting our circumstances. When we accept them, stay present and continue to be rooted in kindness, we see that they always change.

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