Cheating & Deceit through the Eyes of Compassion

Post by Amy Robertson for the Kind Kindred series.

Cheating & Deceit through the Eyes of Compassion

My mind raced full of mean, hurtful ideas, all centered around making him pay for the pain he was causing me. The whirl of lies that had unwinded for the past 9 months was now at the tipping point as he announced he was leaving. The pain was excruciating.

It wasn’t as if we had a troubled marriage. We had just fit together perfectly from the day we met, we were the admired couple and now everything was shattered. The innocence of love, trust and marriage just gone.

I couldn’t wrap my brain around the lies, deceit and the life that I had just lost when he left and asked for a divorce. What happened, how did we get here and why is this happening to me? I felt so naive, yet so wide-eyed and awake.

The puzzle pieces of the world were swirling and I could see how emotional turmoil could cause ANYONE to do ANYTHING. My own emotional turmoil had me in a death grip and my mind was concocting ways to cause him and his fling suffering and pain.

In that moment of suffering, I knew deep down that causing anyone else pain would only cause me more pain and keep me trapped. In that moment I asked for help and dug deep within, looking for a way to forgive him.

I knew if I could forgive him for his cheating, I could see our transition of moving apart through kinder eyes. My anger and bitterness would dissipate and I would be able to co-parent with him.

After time I grew to have great compassion for him. I know that he loved me, but I wasn’t the right person for him. I can only imagine how difficult it was to make choices he knew would hurt me, yet for him was his way of getting out.

My heart hurts for him because I know that it wasn’t easy to sit me down and tell me he was leaving, but he did it. He did it because that is what was right for him and for that I think he is brave. How many of us do what we really know we need to do, but we are afraid of doing?

It is through my kind eyes I could see this, and this is what allowed me to move through our divorce with grace. It has allowed me to co-parent with ease and has provided my children with a beautiful, stable environment that could easily have been a battleground.

Amy Robertson is a Life Coach and Make It Happen girl who teaches women how changing their day, can change their life. She is the founder of Launch It Girl, which is all about living your life your way. Amy’s life has always been centered around empowering women to be everything they know they can be. Amy is a nature girl at heart and spends her time between Lake Tahoe and San Diego with her two kids and her dog cooper. You can learn more about her at


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