Change what you can

photo by Jenny Ingalls Nelson

Pretty simple rules, courtesy of Maya Angelou. There are plenty of ways to change situations. We can find a new job if we hate our current one. We can opt for delivery if we are uncomfortable going to stores. We can change our hair color, our eye color and our wardrobe. There are lots of things that we can change when we don’t like them.

But what about the stuff we can’t change? What do we do with that?

There have been plenty of things that I would have liked to change. My mom having breast cancer, the pain of a friend with an unfaithful partner, the fear when a friend’s baby being born at 26 weeks. None of these could be changed.

These are big, sad, scary things, and I felt those emotions deeply. I also made a choice to not ONLY feel the sadness and fear. I also chose to feel love.

Love looked like forming a closer relationship with my mom at Dr appointments. Love looked like supporting my friend and being so proud of how she stood on her own. Love looked like showing up with food and praying my heart out.

It’s normal and okay to be scared, and trust me, I had lots of fear in all of these situations…and I also found some love. I chose to focus on an attitude that served me, and those I loved. My attitude about these things got me through them. It enabled me to show up, fully in pain and in hope, and truly be present.

These days, all of those events are in my past, and for that I am grateful. Even though I never would have chosen them, the lesson of this Maya Angelou quote is forever imprinted in my heart. Change what you can, and when you can’t change it, find a way to choose love.

Thanks for being on this journey with me.


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