Book Giveaway and Excerpt: And She Lived Happily Ever After

Dear KOM-ers!

We’re so happy to feature a new book giveaway!

Please enjoy this excerpt from And She Lived Happily Ever After by Deborah Durbin.

There are 2 ways to enter to win a hard copy:

  1. Leave a comment below with your email address (so we can contact you)
  2. Email us at with the Subject: And She Lived Happily Ever After giveaway entry

The winner will be randomly selected on 3/20/23 and announced on our website and social media. *


And She Lived Happily Ever After is an inspirational and motivational book for women, reminding them that they are in charge of their happy-ever-afterness and that they don’t have to adhere to societal rules and regulations if they don’t wish to. Inside these pages, Deborah Durbin covers more than thirty life tips and reminders, including building your own world profile, why it’s important to wait 24 hours before reacting, why it’s so important to surround yourself with radiators and not drains, and many more life lessons she has learned over the years. These lessons are short, to the point and written in a style where the reader can dip in and out for a life lesson when it suits them.

Excerpt: Chapter 22 – Be Your Own Cheerleader!

It doesn’t matter who you are, or what you’ve done in your life, you are an awesome and worthy person, and in turn you deserve to massage your own ego.

There’s a line in the song, I Know Him So Well, from the musical Chess that goes: “No-one in your life is with you constantly” and whilst initially this could be looked at with sadness that basically, you’re on your own, kid, I think it’s a good reminder that we all need to be our own cheerleaders.

It is so important to celebrate all your wins, big and small, in your life, even if you just managed to brush your hair today – give yourself a high five for doing so. We spend so much time comparing ourselves to others and thinking that our lives are dull compared to some, that we forget that just staying alive each day is an achievement in itself.

When you were growing up, your parents celebrated everything about you – even if it was something as simple as using the potty for the first time, without spilling it all over the floor! Your first steps were cheered, the time you bravely stepped into the classroom for the first time, the time you finished your school exams, passed your driving test, got into college, got engaged or got your first job. All of these steps were celebrated by people who loved you and yet all the while these people are not in your life constantly – you are.

Which is why it’s even more important to be your own best friend and cheer yourself when you achieve something, even if it’s something very simple in your life. Too often we ignore the tiny steps we make in life to our bigger goals, such as handing in an assignment on time or getting up when the alarm goes off. If we can remember that no one in our life is with us constantly then it makes sense that we should be our biggest supporter in our life.

We shouldn’t have to rely on others for validation that we are a good person or deserve a place in the world. It is our right to have a beautiful life, and when we celebrate all our little wins, without having to announce it to the world, our confidence grows from the inside out.

For many women, the thought of cheering ourselves on is tainted by emotional neglect from our childhoods to the point where we simply don’t know how to do it. But you have to remember that even if your parents didn’t acknowledge your little wins, it doesn’t mean that you should ignore them. In fact, it’s necessary that you celebrate everything about you, because to ignore it is basically saying that you’re not worth celebrating, and believe me, you are.

You don’t need validation from anyone other than yourself.

Cheer yourself on when you manage to complete that HIIT workout. Celebrate finishing work early for the week. Give yourself a high five for getting to work on time, cooking a meal by following a recipe, leaving a toxic relationship, ticking off a goal in your life, or even just managing to get a full nine hours’ undisturbed sleep.

No matter who you are or what you do, someone will always talk about you, question your judgement, or doubt you, which is why it is so important to be your own cheerleader.

We all come into this world with nothing, and we all go out again with nothing; it’s the bit in the middle that is the important part. People will come and go in and out of our lives as we grow, so it makes sense to be our own number one fan, cheering ourselves on every single, small step of the way.


* By entering this contest, you give consent to Kind Over Matter to use your name for promotional purposes on our website and on all social media. 

NOTE: You can pre-order Deborah’s book from Hunt Publishing or on Amazon.

deborah durbin
Deborah Durbin is the author of 14 non-fiction books and two novels. She has over 20 years' experience working in print media for national magazines and newspapers as a freelance journalist and feature writer. She writes regularly for all the MBS magazine titles, Chat it's Fate, Take a Break, and other UK & US magazines. She lives in Somerset, UK. Deborah has been a property investor since 2013 and in that time has built up a multimillion-pound residential lettings company. From building her own house to managing tenants, Deborah has vast experience in the construction and BTL property industry. She has also been a columnist for Professional Builder and Love Property magazines.

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