I did not realize how deep these reflexes go.

Old life. Old ways. Old pain. Still in my cells.

My hurts are electrified technicolor and the first breath I take
when scared.

I don’t have to worry about food
these days
but still catch my flinch when I leave the store.

I can trust my partner and
Our Place.

But still wake up, panicked, to wonder
how long will this last?

I have community, not isolation,
people to listen and hear. But the silence of my suffering
still reverberates when I least expect it.

I am healing. Always healing. And still shocked,
at how deep it goes.

Come sit by me and whisper in my ear,
“How many people are living inside you?”