Be careful how you talk to yourself

If you stopped to listen to yourself, what would you hear?  Would you hear words of encouragement?  Praise?  Confidence?

…or would you hear something more like this:

Idiot.  Now look what you did.  Everything looks terrible.  What’s wrong with you?  Why can’t you just get it right/done/fixed?

Now think about your best friend, or your spouse, or your child.  How would you feel if someone was speaking to them the way you’re talking to yourself?  Would you want to hug them and be their friend, or would you be more likely to punch them and run away?

The way you feel about the person talking to your loved one, is the same way you feel about your inner voice.

Next time you’re walking around feeling like you want to punch your inner voice (AKA inner critic), try this instead:

  1. Notice it.  Really tune in.  We spend so much of our time on the go, running from place to place, that we’re often oblivious to the negative things we say to ourselves.  Awareness is the key.
  2. Talk to it the way you would want someone to talk to your loved one.  Make a mistake at work and call yourself an idiot?  Once you’ve noticed that, you can try again.  What would you tell your best friend, spouse or child if they made a mistake?  Tell that to yourself, too.
  3. Drop the judgment.  These are long-standing patterns, and change takes time.  When you notice the inner critic voice, don’t judge yourself for it’s negativity.  Simply forgive yourself and remember that you’re on the road to talking to yourself more kindly.

Practice these easy steps, and over time, you’ll notice your relationship with yourself being way more Hug and much less Punch!


CLICK to Tweet: Be careful how you talk to yourself because you are listening.  @LisaMHayes via @KindOverMatter

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