Post by Renee Smusz for the Kind Kindred series.

image courtesy of Bryan Ungard on Flickr

There was a girl,
A girl who wanted to become a woman so she could make her own decisions.

On good days she bounced joyfully with poise and gratitude.
She opened her eyes in awareness and looked around with curiosity.
In each person she reflected self-love and she found freedom.

On bad days her brows were heavy with disappointment.
She kept her chin down and looked up with eyes searching for approval.
Did I earn your love today? She was desperate for anyone to answer.

There was a girl,
A girl who wanted to become a woman so she could feel a sense of belonging.

On good days she nurtured herself by hugging the hearts around her.
Her arms were open to embrace others with warmth and understanding.
She practiced respect without conditions and connection without expectations.

On bad days she turned inward and identified as Victim.
Her self-worth dependent on her ability to endure suffering,
She found comfort in the belief that she was not enough.

There was a girl,
A girl who wanted to become a woman so she could find her own happiness.

On good days she engaged other people with her optimism and sensitivity,
She sang to the tune of her silly heart and found joy in her creative spirit.
She was a bright light in the darkness around her.

On bad days she was a paper doll, put together by the perception of others.
With every word she tore apart from the blow of rejection.
She picked up the pieces and apologized for the mess.

There was a girl, 

A girl who wanted to become a woman she could feel proud of her accomplishments.

On good days she thanked her inner child for growing stronger.
She moved forward with each step and felt blessed along her journey.

On bad days her body moved forward with no awareness.
She looked back at her mistakes and shamed herself for being a child.

There was a girl,
She is a woman on a balance beam.

Renee Smusz is a mental health clinician in Durham, North Carolina. She received her Masters of Clinical Social Work at UNC Chapel Hill and has been working with children and families at a residential school. She describes herself as a professional, seeking to understand the human condition. Her writings come from her personal journal, which she believes, is a testament to the many lessons she has been taught by clients. She considers herself lucky to be given the opportunity to reflect on what she has learned and is forever grateful for the many people who have touched her life with their stories.

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