affirmations and goals and work, oh my!

Post by Lynn DeVasto for the Kind Kindred series.

photo by Ulf Bodin on Flickr

If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there
~ Lewis Carroll

There is so much confusion about goal setting. Some people subscribe to the theory that if you write it down and believe it to be so, poof! You have your dream life! These are the same people that are ultimately confused about why they do NOT have their dream life. I have definitely fallen into this category, and my guess is that I’m not alone.

Here’s why goals and affirmations are important…they keep your desires top of mind. Here are two “me’s” for comparison:

Me #1…I make a New Year’s Resolution to lose “xx” of pounds. I really mean it this time! To prove my intention, I eat as much as I can from Thanksgiving on, because…yep, January 1, there’s a new me in town. Sad for me, there’s a lot of food leftover from that NYE party, but I can resist (or can I?). A period of 6 hours to 6 days is about how much I can handle the pain of “starving” and working out hard core twice a day after sitting on tush for the past 6 months. Everything I do is a reminder that I’m not good enough, and I must suffer. By day 7, I have deserved a “treat day”, for which I go to the grocery store the night before so that I can start my treat day at midnight. Since I’m now practically comatose, I’ve managed to convince myself that my goals are stupid, I’m not good enough, and I’m surely not working out. That day and the next day? I’m filled with self hatred…it’s not pretty. Game over.

Me #2…I have a goal to weigh “xxx” pounds. I set a date to begin. I start cleansing my home of all crap food. I research what foods work for me and what foods don’t. I go to the store and stock my fridge and pantry with the healthy foods that will nourish me. I make sure I start off with a clear head and enough sleep. I make a tangible plan to work out a minimum of 3 days a week. I set reminders all over the place of my goal, i.e. a note on my dashboard, reminders set on my phone, big goal signs on the inside of my front door. My constant reminders are of the person I am becoming, but I keep in mind that the person that I am now has made the decision to be healthier, happier and in a better position. There is no self hatred. Game on.

I have been, and still am, both of these people. I still go headstrong into a “great” idea with no idea how to implement and then fall down crying that it’s too hard. And then, after a few (generally 5-10) times of this, I realize that perhaps I need help, a plan and some reasonable expectations. That’s where the changes begin.

There is nothing wrong with making goals, resolutions, affirmations, etc. There is also no magic in doing so. The magic is in knowing where you’re going, and then putting one foot in front of another. You will detour, you will fall down, you will meet crazy people who will try to literally drag you down (and may even do so on occasion). it doesn’t matter, you’ll get back up. If you know where you’re going, you will get to your goals, to the person that you know you are meant to be. Remember, there’s nothing wrong in taking your time. There’s no shame in not doing it “right” the first time. Just keep on keepin’ on. I know you’ll see yourself on the other side…and will be so grateful to yourself that you didn’t give up.

Lynn DeVasto is the owner of SuperGirl Workout. After losing 90 pounds, she made the decision to help woman be their own super-hero and find their own version of “fit and fearless”, while being true and kind to themselves in the process.
~ Important but boring stuff: She holds certifications in personal training, holistic wellness coaching, sports nutrition and barre.
~ Perhaps unimportant, but fun stuff: Wakes up every morning at 4:30 (ugh), lives with her kitty love (Brady), has yet to meet a potato she doesn’t like (especially if mashed), currently nominated for Best Personal Trainer in South Jersey!

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