4 Gentle Steps To Stop Faking It & Actually Love Who You Are

Post by Ashley Wilhite for the Kind Kindred series.


4 Gentle Steps To Stop Faking It And Actually Love Who You Are

It’s Friday night. You’re wearing that turquoise dress that hugs your curves and is supposed to make you feel amazing, but you secretly wonder if everyone’s staring at the way your stomach bulges out a bit.

You find yourself plastering a smile across your face as you sip a glass of Pinot Grigio and catch up with the girls. You laugh, you talk, you pretend like you’re on top of the world.

But on the inside you feel stuck. You love your friends, but you can’t do this for much longer.

After grocery shopping, taking those new linen pants to the cleaners, and Zumba classes at the gym, you’re exhausted by going through the motions. You can’t stand your job at the office. You haven’t had a vacation in two years and you secretly dream of running away from it all to open a bakery in Paris.

The truth is, you want more.

You want to feel confident, fulfilled, joyful, and a calm sense of self-acceptance. You want to believe in yourself. You want to stop being so hard on yourself, stop stopping yourself, and finally go after your big dreams.

4 gentle steps to stop faking it and actually love who you are:

1. Start with kindness.

You’re probably familiar with ways to ignore and speak out against your Inner Critic, but what if you started with kindness instead? What if you recognized that daunting voice inside of you, and saw it as the part of you that feels afraid and anxious, instead of a nasty enemy out to attack you? Next time, respond to that voice with empathy, respect, and kindness and you will begin to deepen your unconditional acceptance for yourself.

2. Seek out your bigness.

Tap into that place within yourself that is bigger and deeper than your fears and insecurities. Immerse yourself in sights, sounds, and smells that take you to that transcendent place. Meditate. Listen to your favorite band. Light a candle. Wear those purple skinny jeans and channel your inner Beyoncé. Sit in front of the ocean. Create a vision board. Continue to plug into these feelings to center and calm yourself, while also building up your confidence. This is the antidote to the stories you tell yourself about how you’re not good enough.

3. Dispel the “I’ll Be Happy When…” myth.

We all have plans that we keep tucked away until we feel confident and completely prepared. We won’t wear a bikini until we lose 15 pounds. We won’t go after our dream job as a yoga instructor until we pay off our student loans. We won’t quit our mind-numbing job until we know exactly what our next step is going to be. The thing is, sometimes those moments never happen. We don’t lose the weight and we don’t know exactly what our new career is going to be. So, consider what you’ve been putting off and do it now. You’ll feel a rush of adrenaline and confidence. This is your life and you deserve to feel complete, awe-inspiring joy.

4. Take it one day at a time.

It can feel incredibly overwhelming when you try to make too many changes at once. When you’re looking to transition from “faking it” to actually loving who you are, begin by setting an intention for the day. You can choose who you want to be, how you want to feel, regardless of what happens around you. You don’t have to react to life, you can create it. Over a period of time, that will build and create the experience you want.

When you practice using these four tips, you will feel yourself becoming more confident and feeling more authentic with each day. You’ll have strengthened your core and solidified your ability to trust in yourself. You’ll no longer be faking it, but actually loving who you are! And that’s the first step to living a super awesome life.

Ashley Wilhite is the founder of Your Super Awesome Life, where she joins forces with 20-something women to figure out what the heck they want to do with their lives + find the confidence and courage to actually go through with it. She is a huge fan of hot pink nail polish, sparkly cupcakes, and only doing what feels good. You can find Ashley and get your free copy of her eBook “The 5 Things That Hold You Back From Living A Life You Love” here.


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