Our Safe Space

I am at a loss. I had an article written and ready to go. Then Friday happened. I feel like I should write something of importance. I feel like I should do something of importance.

And yet…I’m writing about what I’ve done since Friday.

I heard about the Supreme Court decision while I was at work. Even though we all knew this was coming, I still felt like I did when I first heard about 9/11. Struck down. I couldn’t understand why the entire office wasn’t standing in front of the television watching this catastrophic decision as well as the fallout. Why wasn’t anybody crying about the lost rights that so many before us worked so hard for? Why were we still talking about work deadlines? And then I realized that I was standing alone in my dismay and the job still needed to be done. I worked. I went home and binge-watched all the news and all the social media and I reached out to friends with a whole lot of “WTF” texts until I just couldn’t do it any longer.

Then came Saturday. I wore my “Pro Roe” t-shirt, we ate bagels, we went grocery shopping. As we were putting groceries into the back seat of TL’s truck, a woman whipped her car into the parking space next to us – full force and almost hit us. Then she yelled at us, telling us that this was a “parking space” not a “put your groceries away space.” This delightful encounter ended with me telling her she was a bitch. Then TL bought me flowers, to which I replied “Thank you, this surely makes up for our rights being taken away.” To his credit, he just hugged me and told me that he would always be my safe space. The rest of my day was split between crying and violently cleaning every area of our house. I bought a steam cleaner because regular cleaning wasn’t cutting it. I ordered too many things on Amazon. I ate too many Cheetos.

Clearly this was a banner day. Here’s the thing, and it’s important – I needed to go through my process, whatever that looked like. I believe the woman who yelled at us was also going through her own process. The truth about processing painful issues is that it’s messy, it’s ugly. Often times it’s not even relevant to the subject at hand.

Then came Sunday. We got out of the house. We ate lunch at our favorite diner. We talked about our grandkids and how grateful we are for our family. We talked about the best ways for us to help. I realized there’s nothing sexier than my man assembling a steam cleaner. I steam cleaned the floors. I ate less Cheetos than I did yesterday.

Processing something of this magnitude can’t happen in a weekend, but we will process it. We will find the organizations to join and donate to, we will become more educated and more politically involved. We will continue to live our lives and realize once again that progress isn’t linear. As a country, we have regressed, but we can and will come back stronger than ever. In the meantime, let’s not forget those people who make us feel safe, and strive to be that safe space for others.

Lynn Devasto
Lynn DeVasto is a Certified Health Coach who specializes in helping women re-create their relationships with food by forging their own happy and healthy path. You can reach her via email at happyandhealthypath@gmail.com or on her website.

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