she lost her way

She Lost Her Way

there was a time when the road was wide and clear and then she veered off

so far off she lost herself completely

it was a strange and exciting feeling

anxiety, rapid speech and thoughts

she felt alive and terrified

there was time when she walked the road effortlessly and never forgot the way home

but sometimes in the dark rooms of her psyche she was told “No you’re special you can go your own way. Alone.”

so she went, skipping then running toward what felt like her salvation

an idea, an answer

a solution to the very essence of her being — so odd and beautiful and brutal, brutiful

why do the rules have to apply to me?

can’t you see how special i am?

i’m cut from a very different cloth and I can have it all!

I WILL have it all.

so long as i find someone else to give it to me

the ego likes it’s prison cells and longs for someone else to do the work and just pick up the check

but there’s nothing free in this life and if it is it will be futile because we don’t value things unearned

so she falls off the cliff abandoning her sacred highway and it scares the living shit out of her

she had worked so hard to stake claim to her being, her Truth

she had a big fucking flag didn’t you see it?

how early she gave it all away int he blink go an eye

or perhaps it was gradual, mounting like an ant hill little by little she chipped away at her own knowing, covered it up with grains of sand one by one until she had forgotten who she was, how powerful she truly is

deep clouds covering her Spirit unable to locate her unwavering North Star in the sky

So she fell, scrapped her knees, bloody a with a bruised ego

humiliated she climbed back on to her ever expansive path that was always hers and realized that although she had stumbled she was never alone the guides were still watching, keeping her safe enough to learn but not so safe as to forget the lesson

she got up. she got it. her ever evolving soul was ready for this learning at the precise moment it came but not a moment sooner

and if she begins to think that maybe she SHOULD have known better the shame comes rushing in filling her lungs drowning her washing away the essential learning

so she wrestles with it for some time until the experience is far enough behind her that that she can see with 20/20 vision the magnificent orchestration of it all

all for her

not to her

with her

not against her

this is a life of learning so if you’re not veering off the path from time to time you are not growing and perhaps this is why it’s not all path there are edges for a reason so that you might come upon the edges of yourself which is where the learning begins again and again expanding and merging

so when you are summoned by the Winds of Change allow them to blow you over because this is what we are here to do

resist

persist

resit

let go

get knocked to your knees

and get back up again stronger, wiser more true than before

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Bianca Rodriguez
Bianca L. Rodriguez, MA, Ed.M, LMFT is a soul whisperer, author and innovator in spiritual psychotherapy. Her expert opinion is highly sought after by both online and print publications such as Bravo TV, New York Post, Huffington Post and Thrive Global. After receiving her MA and Ed.M in psychological counseling from Columbia University in 2005, Bianca had a spiritual awakening and realized despite her struggles with alcoholism, anxiety and depression she was complete. For the next decade Bianca developed her unique brand of psychotherapy integrating traditional and mystical interventions becoming a prominent leader and teacher in the recovery field. Upon meeting Bianca you’ll be inspired by her effervescent spirit. Join her on her website or on Instagram. For holiday stress support – contact her for a free consultation at: bianca@youarecomplete.com – or download her free resources list on her website.

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