Consider those feelings

Consideration, I feel, entails many things. It is how we consider personal surroundings, moments around ourselves, the world, the environment around us, mother nature, others and most importantly ourselves. When considering ourselves, it can naturally lead to looking at our own thoughts and emotions. Consideration is a thought itself; so when considering oneself we can connect with these feelings and emotions. In return we generate a response to these thoughts and emotions.

For me personally, I lost my mind’s state and place as I stopped being considerate to myself. I had feelings and thoughts that made me inconsiderate to myself. I needed to look at why I was being so inconsiderate, self-isolating in my own mind, absorbed in my thoughts to myself and in return this bred fear and bad responses.

On my path for gaining some mental peace and clarity I needed to consider myself and those thoughts and feelings. In therapy these thoughts and feelings are dissected and processed, looked at and brought forward to see what we need. I needed to connect and own these feelings and emotions for the purpose of bringing them out and understanding then for recognition of triggers and responses. These are not always processes or situations we want to be doing or looking at, as they can be quite impacting; however, they can be positive because of their difficulty. This process was what helped me to truly find an inner mental balance, for peace and purpose.

I needed to consider my feelings of what was making me feel that way, react in that manner and, most importantly, be conscious of my actions and reactions. To look inward can be compelling. It can also be rewarding and helpful for being a conscious and considerate person both to others and yourself. During recovery I made a conscious effort to be considerate of those around me although at times this was not easy. At first, I really was not very considerate. Thankfully I realized that I needed to become considerate and look within myself, then to those around me. While living with my eating disorder I was really consumed with being considerate of only that – everything revolved around me, my self-image and food. For my recovery I needed to shift this focus of consideration of what was for me. Although it was a windy sticky path, it was achievable.

When you are considerate to yourself you will in turn be considerate to others and the environment around you. It was essential for me to find the right mix of being considerate to myself and others, but in a healthy balance. For so many years I was consumed with what people thought of me and how they considered me. It was a fine line for me to distinguish the true sense of balance as I needed to be mindful of others but not consumed by it.

I see my brain, soul and self wired in a certain way. I know if I am happy, uplifted, energetic, getting angry, feeling well or unsettled, I need to consider it. I look at it and remind myself that it is a reaction and a response to something that is being governed by me. This is a way of connecting, to consider and then process it all so I can see some clarity and react in a manner that is good for both myself and those around me. I have learned to consider what is a healthy and productive way for me. I remain true to myself, being accountable to myself and my reactions. The most important thing is to remain true to it all deep down; then I do not feel guilt or accountability in a negative way.

We must keep our truth and engage truthfully with our feelings. Let your soul speak to you and, even if in fear, face the truth of your own emotions and feelings. Consider them as your truth and own them. Consideration, pondering and reflection enabled me to find a better understanding of myself in both a conscious and unconscious way. I needed to learn (and this was very tricky and took me years and years) to acknowledge my feelings and thoughts. If they were negative or questioning, I had to remind myself that they are just that. Having a distorted mindset for so long with mental challenges, it was paramount for me to establish a “light bulb moment” that made me recognize these thoughts and questions for what they were and to retain my truth. Consideration was a big part of this. Learning to be considerate to myself showed me how much more pleasant life can be and the love and sustainable existence it creates. This goes beyond self to all beings.

Consideration can be such a strong thought and have even stronger reactions. If we are considerate to ourselves, we can recognize the impact and benefits of a flow on to those around us. It can be frustrating to recognize non-considerate ways is others, but this heightens our own understanding of consideration. It creates respect, common courtesy, manners and an all-round better place within yourself and in society. Taking a second to consider how something will make you feel and being aware enough to think beyond yourself and your own entitlement, to think how your thoughts = reactions, can benefit someone around you. If we all start to be a little more aware and less self-imposing, it just may make for a better surrounding and sense of self and others in the world.

Now more than ever in these times and how the world is today, we need to be considerate of ourselves and others. Be mindful, considerate to others and all that is around you.

Heidi Fabian Lee
Heidi Fabian-Lee is a mental health advocate, helping people understand, recognize and walk their mind's map with worthiness, peace and purpose. She has a true personal understanding of what it means to be kind to yourself with mental well-being. After overcoming her own eating disorder 23 years ago, she knows first hand what it's like to work through a mental disorder. From her own experience and recovery, Heidi is passionate to assist and shed her light on eating disorders and mental illness. She is hearing a calling to work with people on a holistic level of connecting with oneself to understand and navigate the mind through relatable connections of self-worth, kindness and self-understanding. As an artist, Heidi has always believed art can help show us our way and guide, even enlighten our path. She can often be found cooking, creating teas in her apothecary, feeding the birds, tinkering in her garden, rescuing plants, laughing with her cat and enjoying life with her 3 beautiful children.

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