The holes in your heart

Do you feel a little beaten up by life lately? Does your heart feel like it’s being torn apart, little by little? I hear you. These are tough times and we can’t deny them. We need to acknowledge this life as it is, not as we wish it were. Denial is like acid eating away at your very being. At the same time, we can’t just give in and give up. We need to lean into those who can help and support us as we find our ways through the realities of life.

Fortunately, we are resilient humans and we have skills to help us to both heal and learn to accept and live with the rips and tears that we can’t heal. I always say that there is not “one” thing that works for everybody. Similarly, there is not just “one” thing that you can turn to that will always work for you. Because of this, I recommend that you have a self-care resource box. This can be literal or metaphorical.

Self-care as we know it may not work anymore and we may need to lean into things we hadn’t considered before. Some things that may work for you are:

  • Taking a walk in a local park
  • Reading a trashy novel
  • Setting boundaries around your time
  • Differentiating between work and personal time
  • Learning deep breathing techniques
  • Studying something that interests you
  • Taking some time each day to organize and prioritize your day
  • Eating foods that nourish your body
  • Gardening; get your yard ready for the spring
  • Counseling or coaching, depending on your needs
  • Contributing to a cause that matters to you
  • Volunteering

It’s also helpful to look at what you can decrease or eliminate. Some things to consider that may help in this area are:

  • Cleaning out clutter; even organizing a junk drawer makes a big difference
  • Organizing your pantry and donating non-perishable items to a food bank
  • Looking through your inbox and unsubscribing to sites you have no interest in any more
  • Minimizing time spent with negative family, friends and co-workers
  • Doing kinder, gentler workouts once a week instead of always going hard core
  • Taking small steps on big projects
  • Watching news carefully and not before bed
  • Similarly, being cautious about going down the social media rabbit hole
  • Looking at areas where you can practice acceptance and forgiveness

Above all, lean into what you know works for you, along with new things that feel good to your soul. Remember that the holes in our heart allow the light to shine through.

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