Also called the extroverted introvert or social introvert, an outgoing introvert is often mistaken for an ambivert. Outgoing introverts are much like the usual introverts, but a lot more social which, you could argue, makes our lives easier. But it still gets tough sometimes, so I gathered the twelve things I wish people knew about me as an outgoing introvert.
- People are both exhausting and intriguing.
Even though I love meeting new people, I still get tired of socializing quite fast. I love watching people and listening to their stories because they are just so fascinating, but I absolutely can’t bring myself to hang out with friends every day. I keep checking my phone all the time rather than paying attention to what’s going on around me. After work, I come home feeling like I need to recharge rather than being energized like extroverts.
- My energy depends on my environment.
My emotional and physical state are both directly related to my environment. They say that introverts are very creative and I think that given the right circumstances that is completely true. But then again, where I am and what is around me matters so much! For example, I love going to concerts, but not the kind where everyone is screaming and there are crowds of people. I like the small concerts held in my local pub where the atmosphere is way chiller and laid back.
- When I am rested, I reach out to others.
Unlike usual introverts, outgoing introverts tend to be more prone to socializing. But that comes with a prerequisite – we need to rest first. I need to feel like I am full of energy after having a good night’s sleep or after a long break since my last social interaction. I may even go as far as to organize our next trip to the cinema or elsewhere if I’m feeling like it. As long as I am recharged, I can do so many great deeds (of course, that’s until the moment when I run out of energy).
- I get both drained and recharged by social interactions.
There are some people who make me want to keep on talking. I could go on for hours, hang out with them forgetting that I am an introvert. But there are other people who remind me how draining social interactions can be. Most of the time, the people with whom I can spend many hours without feeling drained (and sometimes become even more energized) are my closest friends and family. Others drain me out pretty fast.
- I choose when to be social.
That might have come off as rude, but I actually don’t mean it that way. I am only human and I can’t maintain the same energy for all the people I know. I can be quite social and outgoing with select few (mentioned in the previous point), but I will be quite shy around others simply because I don’t have enough strength to support many relationships. Despite that, I can still write to people especially for business and even to foreigners (with the help of an online translation service). It all depends on the person and the type of relationship I have with them.
- It is easier for me to say what’s on my mind.
Just like your average introvert, outgoing introverts can’t really keep up the small talk. We prefer saying what is on our mind because it requires less energy and it is much easier for us than talking about trivial things. I love connecting with people on an emotional level or talk to them about big ideas rather than chatting about mundane things. What’s the point anyway? What’s out there in space? That’s the real question.
- I can be both charming and reflective.
Alright, maybe I was too hasty with that previous point. I do make small talk when the situation is right and people expect it of me; and I can actually be quite easy-going. At the same time, there will be an infinite mechanism constantly running in my head. I may appear very calm on the outside, but there will be so much going on inside. I continue watching people most of the time and, unfortunately, I get caught daydreaming on some rare occasions.
- I don’t try to prove myself to strangers.
Even though I can be quite open-minded on social events, I am still never the most popular person in the room or the center of attention. Don’t get me wrong, I actually don’t mind it at all! I love making new connections and I get very happy when I find someone like me in the crowd; but I never truly try to impress anyone intentionally.
- I still need space.
You have probably heard that all introverts need time to recharge and this is true for outgoing introverts, too. As I mentioned before, I still get exhausted on many occasions. The only thing I can do is come back home and rest from all of the socializing. There is nothing better than staying alone and recharging properly.
- I need time to get comfortable in social situations.
I often get told that I am very quiet at first but once someone gets to know me, I go crazy. That’s definitely an over-exaggeration, but it sums me up pretty well. When I go to social events, I don’t instantly walk around greeting everyone. Likewise, those who come up to me only get a polite “Hello.” But once I am more comfortable, I start being more open and sometimes may even share personal details.
- I want others to be comfortable.
What I do go crazy about sometimes is making everyone feel comfortable. I watch every single person (which usually happens involuntarily) and always try to make sure that they feel comfortable. It’s just something that’s been around for ages and it’s practically a trait of my personality at this point.
- I am often confused for an extrovert or an ambivert.
Last and perhaps the most annoying is that I often get confused for an extrovert or an ambivert. When this topic comes up, I am often called anything but an introvert. Then I always have to explain that “Hey, I’m actually an outgoing introvert. Yep, we exist.”
In conclusion, sometimes it may be heard being an outgoing introvert; but it still has many benefits and I love being one. I just wish that others would understand these simple things about me and we can all be happy with who we are.