That Man Knows How to Wear a Hat

For Sandy & John

I just need more time

He appeared at the foot of the bed and was pointing upwards towards his head with a concerned look on his face

A little dirty and messy

Unusual for a man who could really wear a hat

I went upstairs looking for the paperwork or some clue about what his meaning might be

Should I go North?

I was unsettled and startled but comforted at the same time

Why don’t you just tell me where to find you?

There’s quartz in your pockets so you can find your way home

I visited the place where you fell

The last place

Since you died the previous day

All the places are now the “1st time” since and also the “last time”

I kept waiting for you to come home so I could tell you all about it and so you could help me make sense of it

But the crows came today, and I said to them “Please don’t go yet” but I was really talking to you

How can anything be pleasurable again without you?

How can I go to Australia?

We had plans to go together

I can never go back to Portugal, we had too much fun there

I can’t be alone again

Live alone again

I was good at it and found a way to do it, but it was hard

Now, since you, I don’t think I will ever have peace again

Our love has broken me open to the world

My heart hurts and now I feel unprepared to live it

I want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever

I wish the crows would come back and keep me company

But everything is a poor substitute for you, my love

I want you to find your way home

Wherever that is

I just thought it was with me

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Felicia is driven by curiosity. She takes things apart and puts them back together: dryers, door handles and ideas. She values directness as well as kindness. In life or salsa class she will be moving in the opposite direction of the crowd (sometimes not on purpose). Her family is nice enough to leave all the drawers open for her to push in so she feels useful. She lives outside of Boston on the North Shore with a large man with a heart of gold, a tween who sings like an angel but can’t remember to wear her own coat home from school and a greyhound named Arnie who enjoys crispy bread. You can follow Felicia on her website, LinkedIn and Facebook.

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