For Sandy & John
I just need more time
He appeared at the foot of the bed and was pointing upwards towards his head with a concerned look on his face
A little dirty and messy
Unusual for a man who could really wear a hat
I went upstairs looking for the paperwork or some clue about what his meaning might be
Should I go North?
I was unsettled and startled but comforted at the same time
Why don’t you just tell me where to find you?
There’s quartz in your pockets so you can find your way home
I visited the place where you fell
The last place
Since you died the previous day
All the places are now the “1st time” since and also the “last time”
I kept waiting for you to come home so I could tell you all about it and so you could help me make sense of it
But the crows came today, and I said to them “Please don’t go yet” but I was really talking to you
How can anything be pleasurable again without you?
How can I go to Australia?
We had plans to go together
I can never go back to Portugal, we had too much fun there
I can’t be alone again
Live alone again
I was good at it and found a way to do it, but it was hard
Now, since you, I don’t think I will ever have peace again
Our love has broken me open to the world
My heart hurts and now I feel unprepared to live it
I want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever
I wish the crows would come back and keep me company
But everything is a poor substitute for you, my love
I want you to find your way home
Wherever that is
I just thought it was with me