In the Land of the Goat Warrior Princess

Some days when we feel down on ourselves it is nice to be reminded that we all have “inner warriors.” This is a tale I am most proud of that I re-wrote to make myself the hero. It was a day that I went to work at a job I didn’t love and interacted with a toxic co-worker. I urge you to play with re-writing a story about a bad day or a difficult situation and see if you can connect with your inner light or bad-ass warrior.

 

Once upon a time, in the land of the great Goat Warrior Princess, a princess was waking up in her cozy bedchamber. It was such a glorious day in the kingdom. The sun was shining and we were singing our best songs. Our dearest one (who is not just a beautiful princess but also a sure-footed brave warrior from the Mountain Goat Clan) was still sleepy. Her red curls all wound up on the top of her head made her look regal and silly all at the same time. She rolled over and contemplated what it meant to be a Princess in a modern kingdom. She squinted at the bright sunshine poking at her from the side of the curtain. She drowsily ran her fingers along the softness of her royal blue fluffy sheets.  Even warrior princesses like soft and fluffy things for sleeping.

Still groggy, she walks around her quarters stretching her strong warrior arms, pushing back her curtains to let in the light and opening windows to feel the soft breezes of the day. Gone are the days when warrior princesses have servants to do such mundane things. Princesses take care of themselves; however, we do watch over her. We keep tabs on her progress.

Our Princess is tired from slaying demons (some real, some imaginary, some solely her own) the night before. Wearily she walks past the strange box that hums with the clickety-clack buttons. We wonder if this wretched box is cursed and drains our goat princess of her warrior powers. Sometimes our goat princess sends wise messages through this box to people in far-away lands. We wonder why she sends her messages through the clickety-clack box when she has use of steadfast ravens. So many things in this modern world are confusing and contradictory.

We watch as she dresses for battle. No chain mail or leather cuffs for her this day. Instead she puts on strange black garments and slicks back her wild red hair demurely. She leaves her tiara and jewels untouched. Maybe this is some sort of disguise to confuse the badlands demons.  Perhaps if the demons do not suspect her true identity then they will not engage her in battle. Demons like to feed on inner light. Warrior princesses have this brilliant white light that shines through their person – out from their hair, through their clothes and right down to their shiny painted toes. This wonderful light illuminates all the dark corners of our world. This special light diminishes the power of the badland demons. Without this white light the world is a dark and hopeless place.

She exits her abode and moves toward her beautiful metallic steed. It is grey, shiny and happily responds to the Princess’s commands. As she sits astride it, we marvel at her speeding through the badlands with such bravery and confidence (just like everything that she does that makes us proud to be in her service). We know how sure footed she is because she comes from the goat clan. Nothing deters them. They may tumble but they always get back up and try again. She has the persistence of wild flowers. They grow up through cracks in the rocks. Animals eat them. Bees drink from them. They always come back.

Our brave goat princess arrives at a shabby forest with a clearing that has other metallic steeds and walks toward a short, ugly brick and glass edifice. What type of poor kingdom is this? It must be a kingdom in need of a champion. The warrior princess ascends many floors by commanding a large coffin that carries her upwards. Thankfully she arrives at her station.

The princess puts down her provisions for the day and moves towards another clickety-clack box. We watch anxiously as a strange creature approaches her. This creature has the hair color of bed linens and things painted over her eyes which give her a shockingly surprised appearance.  Its lips curl and it bares its unnaturally glowing teeth at our warrior. This creature might just be a demon that has taken over one of the shabby kingdom’s villagers. Our goat princess is confident but cautious. She puts her hand on her hip and we wait for her to unsheathe her weapon and slay the beast. But instead she does something curious. She frees a single red curl from her hair and curls it around her finger thoughtfully.

A wry smile passes over the princess’s lips. She faces the demon and disarms it with pleasant chatter. The beast leaves with no armed combat. As our Princess watches the demon walk away, we hear her whisper “Foul beast I should have beaten you to death with your own leg after severing it from your wretched body.” Our princess puts her hand on her hip triumphantly.

Evil was thwarted this day and our goat warrior princess didn’t even need to draw her sword or chop off any disgusting demon body parts. She continues to be our champion and lives to fight another day.

THE END

Felicia is driven by curiosity. She takes things apart and puts them back together: dryers, door handles and ideas. She values directness as well as kindness. In life or salsa class she will be moving in the opposite direction of the crowd (sometimes not on purpose). Her family is nice enough to leave all the drawers open for her to push in so she feels useful. She lives outside of Boston on the North Shore with a large man with a heart of gold, a tween who sings like an angel but can’t remember to wear her own coat home from school and a greyhound named Arnie who enjoys crispy bread. You can follow Felicia on her website, LinkedIn and Facebook.

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