I did not realize how deep these reflexes go.
Old life. Old ways. Old pain. Still in my cells.
My hurts are electrified technicolor and the first breath I take
I don’t have to worry about food
but still catch my flinch when I leave the store.
I can trust my partner and
But still wake up, panicked, to wonder
how long will this last?
I have community, not isolation,
people to listen and hear. But the silence of my suffering
still reverberates when I least expect it.
I am healing. Always healing. And still shocked,
at how deep it goes.
Come sit by me and whisper in my ear,
“How many people are living inside you?”