I woke up last night in a sweat, heart pounding, tears in my eyes and breathing so fast that I could not catch my breath. I quietly stepped out of bed to not wake hubby and went and sat in the silence of the lounge. I knew what this was. I had seen it so many time in both my kids. I am a coper. I cope with whatever life throws at me. I can multi-task, multi-job and multi-support. I am that person who people call when they are having problems and I love helping people. But I know this feeling. This is what happens when I have so much going on that I cannot breathe. I take on more and more until my body stops me in its tracks. It tells me to be kind to myself, to catch my breath.
But this is life. Life is messy and beautiful all in one. For every devastating blow there always seems to be a mind-blowing happy moment.
As my breath slowed I looked around the room. I could see the portraits of my family on the wall – my 2 kids who I adore and are my life, looking down at me was my hubby with that calm smile that makes everything all right. I found myself smiling, and realizing how blessed I was, that I could do anything. I was an immovable mountain. But even immovable mountains have their limit.
As I write this I remind you – all of you who feel like there is nowhere to move – even the strongest people have meltdowns. Maybe not in public, but in the quiet stillness of the lounge rooms.
There will always be better days and the only way is up. For the time being I will catch my breath.
Namaste…til next time lovelies.