Today something broke open.
I could feel it bubbling to the surface –
Buoyant, purposeful, unrelenting and clear.
“You are so strong, nothing ever bothers you.”
“You are like a rock.”
More like an iceberg.
Those “treasures” have been left behind on a beach for someone else to discover and save in a jar.
I always thought change would be a foreign invader conquering the weak,
But it’s an old flame,
A steady light that glimmers in the fog.
It came from such a pure element many eons ago,
Strength and resilience passed down over generations through DNA –
Survivors, seekers, entrepreneurs, artists, ship captains and warriors.
Once a small voice; it was just a faint whisper in my ear.
Sometimes I thought I had only imagined it.
The words became clearer, carried by wind and time.
As it increased in volume, I could feel it reverberate in my chest
Until it was so loud that now it’s a ROAR.
Over the years I wore so many hats: 1st mate, passenger, engineer, radio controller, helm and captain.
My ego says “All me.”
In truth, lots of hands helped me pass the buckets while I was bailing out.
I finally realized after I was sinking like a stone, gasping for air and clawing at something,
You can’t stop water but you can ride the waves.
Allowing isn’t giving up as much as quiet persistence with unclenched fists.
I allowed nature to transmute the landscape it touched; instead of seeing it as a force to be tamed,
It became my creative partner.
Something once so heavy is now smooth and light.
It’s a sea and I can’t call it back
Nor do I want to.