“The Velveteen Rabbit” has always been one of my favorite books. When I was in my 20s, one of my favorite people gifted the book to another of my favorite people, and I knew these people were keepers.
Recently, this book has been relevant again, and on a deeper level.
I was working with a client who realized that the constantly doing, and achieving, and supporting everyone else that had gotten her so far, had suddenly started to feel empty. It’s not that she hadn’t accomplished some wonderful things; but there was still this emptiness that seemed to be getting bigger.
We were talking a lot about connection; about how she showed up in relationships (personal and professional), how she showed up for herself and how she let people show up for her. Spoiler alert, that last one wasn’t happening at all!
As we worked through the layers of truth and got to the center, connection was the missing piece. It was what she truly desired and didn’t have enough of. Realizing this felt a little frustrating and my client remarked that maybe she needed to become a totally different person.
This is the part where I got really excited…
The truth is that she didn’t need to become a totally different person at all. She needed to allow herself to be the person she already was. Instead of trying to mask the desire for connection with accomplishments, degrees, promotions and things; what if she sought out connection? What if she let some walls down and talked with people, not at them? What if she actively asked for what she needed and then practiced receiving it?
After our session, I sent this quote from The Velveteen Rabbit: “You become. It takes a long time….once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”