Whatever your “it” is, I’m sure you have days when you don’t feel like it. Don’t feel like going to work, don’t feel like grocery shopping, don’t feel like doing the laundry, don’t feel like any of it.
Let me tell you about last Friday…when I REALLY didn’t feel like it.
I woke up after not sleeping all that well and feeling a little disappointed that I hadn’t been able to start my morning project that week. (I really want to play with the idea that the first hour of your day shapes the rest of it.) I had a 4 appointments, the first one being at 9 AM…luckily with a close friend. As I was getting ready I was already not feeling like doing any of it. The past week had been very full – with many wonderful things – but full nonetheless. Part of my morning is feeding the kitty girls and scooping litter; so I went into the basement to do the scooping and found 1 of the cats (Aury the Tortie, for those of you who follow me on Instagram) in the ceiling joists!
Enter a controlled freak out. I went back upstairs and shook the treats until she ran up…only to run right back down after scarfing up the treats. I went back downstairs and grabbed her before she made it into the ceiling and carried her back upstairs. I’m sure you can guess what she did next.
Finally, I called the friend I was meeting at 9 and explained I was running a little late. I contemplated all kinds of possible solutions before I realized that she’s probably been doing this for months and this is just the first time I’d happened to catch her in the act.
So, while the controlled freakout subsided, none of these kitty shenanigans helped my case of not feeling like it.
I went about my day anyway. I took care of my 9 AM appointment, but because of how I was feeling I didn’t love the way I ended that encounter with my friend. It was weighing on me and that was definitely not helping things. So, I decided to simply own it. I texted her and apologized. I know how my tone can sound on the days when I’m not feeling like it and didn’t want her to think it was directed at her.
What followed was exactly what I needed – connection. The simple act of being vulnerable enough to own it when my communication wasn’t the kindest, and my tone was off, opened the door for a moment of connection that changed my feeling for the rest of the day. It allowed me to enjoy a lovely lunch, to get some work done and get my schedule aligned for next week so that I can start my morning project.
Now, as I reflect on that day, I can actually be grateful for the rough spot – the way we ended our encounter. If things had gone smoothly, I don’t know that I would have sought out connection. I didn’t realize it was the thing that would help me feel more like myself and more engaged in my day.
Now I know, and I’ll be making use of that knowledge. I hope it helps you, too.