I lost my Dad when my daughter Hayley was 3 months old. He wasn’t a well man, I believe he hung on until he saw his first grandchild. This was a difficult time for me. I watched him take his last breaths and the cardiac crew try to resuscitate him.
I loved my Dad. He and I had a strong father-daughter relationship. We laughed. He was as head-strong as I am and mostly we were great buddies.
My Mum has always looked after my kids. This gave her something to look forward to and both of them have a strong bond with her. My Dad was the love of her life; they were married for 40 years and she was lost when he died. They had an old school relationship – he did everything for her yet she could always stand her ground if she wanted to. This inspired me to be a strong independent female.
In the TV show “Grace and Frankie” one of the main themes is the ageing process and coming to the realization that age slows you down. I now have to do something I find very difficult. At age 47, I now see the relationship between parent and child turning. We are trying to do the best for my mum who turns 80 next month. The decisions we make or suggestions we give her are to keep her safe. It is to alleviate our worry for her but she is fighting hard to keep her independence.
I remember that when my Dad got sick we were always concerned about his driving. One day he drove onto the wrong side of the road. This finally brought home the fact that he couldn’t drive anymore. He was so upset because this last part of his independence was gone.
Independence seems to be something we start fighting for from the day we are born – being independent from our parents, being independent from our kids.
I must admit this is a lot for my heart and brain to handle today.
Til next time,