Relationships: marriage, dating, divorced, friendship, companionship, intimate relationship, work relationship, acquaintance, relationship with yourself.
No matter what kind of relationships present in your life, they are all hard and require work. It seems that relationships should be easy, but they require some amount of work. It’s also important to be kind to yourself no matter what type of relationships exist in your life.
I have had my share of romantic relationships. They always start off great and happy but end with me feeling like the jerk and looking like the wrong person. Why? Because I trust my gut. I listen to my inner voice when it tells me “Pay attention to these red flags you’ve ignored for so long.” That’s the hardest moment. Because what if I’m wrong? What if my inner voice is off? What if a red flag isn’t a red flag and it’s just my own insecurity?
In all my years of relationships, and trust me, it’s been YEARS of trying to find magic, I haven’t regretted any relationship or ending. Each ending is a beginning. I always find out something new about myself through that ending. I learn much about myself, my love style, my relationship style.
I hear from friends and clients that their romantic relationships define them. They are so caught up in the other person that their happiness is dependent on that relationship. When it ends, they feel lonely, lost and unworthy. We give so much power to the other person in our heart that we can lose ourselves in the process.
When do you know it’s time to trust yourself when it comes to relationships – with yourself and others? How do you know it’s okay to trust your intuition and your gut when it comes to relationships? You can never really prepare for the fallout of any relationship but especially a romantic one. You can never really trust that you’re doing the right thing because self-doubt always exists.
It’s easy to fall into bad habits and allow toxicity to exist in your life; but when something magical happens that makes you trust the universe’s love for you – hold on and ride the wave. The nuclear fallout that can happen in, or at the end of, a relationship isn’t always avoidable. Putting yourself first is hard. It hurts. It feels selfish and is something I’ve never been comfortable with.
Isn’t the purpose of loving to learn – about yourself and others? First it hurts you, then it transforms you. For me, that’s the magic of loving. People are our mirrors. When we enter into a contract with them involving intimacy of any kind, we are vulnerable and they are our mirrors.
I have a twin flame – not in the form of a romantic partner but rather a best friend. She is the one human who I know can understand my every circumstance. She is navigating the same situation despite being separated by thousands of miles. My twin flame says the truth no matter how hard.
Learning about oneself through relationships is hard but necessary. When we silence the ego long enough to actually listen inward, we will learn many lessons.