I’m a strong woman. I’m a fierce woman. And yet one day I found myself sitting at my desk crying. Why? I don’t believe many of the people in my life realize how hard it is sometimes to be the fierce, independent, grounded woman they expect.
It can be difficult when you pick up the phone for support and before you can get a word out, people are talking about themselves. It’s exhausting. I’m conscious enough to know that I have created this in my life…and I can undo it.
I sat at lunch the other day with a woman I both respect and adore and was speaking about this situation – asking “When is it my turn?” and she began to cry. I went right into healer mode and started to ask her what was wrong when she said, “No, this isn’t about me – this is about you.” and went on to explain that she also feels the same way.
So then how do we move from the unkindness to ourselves of being too strong, too capable and too fierce? You can begin to act in the ways that are most loving, kind and supportive for you.
Ask for Your Turn
If you notice that you aren’t getting a chance to speak about yourself during a conversations with friends, simply ask for it. This sounds like a very tall mountain to climb for the independent woman but here is where your fierceness gets to work for you.
If you are in relationships that don’t seem to be equal, you get to decide if that relationship is where you want to spend your time.
Start Using the Word I
So often a strong woman stuffs her feelings and soldiers on to the next task. Notice when you are stuffing – pause and notice how you feel. “I feel…”
Once you are no longer stuffing your feelings, you can move into expressing them in the moment. It’s hard for others to support you when they don’t understand that you require it.
Stop Always Saying Yes
There have likely been hundreds of articles written about saying “yes” when you mean it, and how to say “no” when you don’t. You have to understand why you are always saying yes to situations when you really want to say no. Do you not want to appear weak? Are you afraid of letting someone down? Do you believe that you can do everything and be everything because it has worked in the past?
When we keep saying yes to everything in our lives, there is no time in that life for us and what we want to experience.
The most important mindset that a strong woman can have is that it is safe to be vulnerable and accept support. Once you have that down, people will be knocking at your door to support you.