Every day I work with coaching clients who say all the right things and then do the exact opposite. They hope to experience growth, but they resist change. They want less stress, yet they indulge in drama. They long for better relationships and then they refuse to trust anyone.
In other words, what they say they want and what they do with their time are disconnected. It’s important to note, though, that I get it. I understand where my clients are coming from.
I used to make the same mistakes. Change is hard to deal with. Needless drama can be addictive. Relationships take a lot of work. I’m sure you can relate.
In a nutshell, we’re stuck in the same familiar patterns and comfortable routines.
Wake Up – Repeat!
Think about it. We ultimately become what we repeatedly do. It’s breaking the pattern and changing your routine that will cause the positive changes you’re seeking in your life.
To break away, add these changes to your daily routine and your mew pattern will be:
Wake Up – Smile – Make a Positive Change – Repeat!
- Exercise your integrity
Living with integrity means:
- Not settling for less than what you are capable of
- Communicating clearly and asking for what you want and need from people
- Speaking your truth, even when others judge you for it
- Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your morals and values
- Making choices based on what you believe, not what others believe
- Steer clear of drama and those who create it
There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the needless drama and the people who create it. Staying out of other people’s drama is an incredibly effective way to stress less and smile more.
Let It Go! Let Them Go!
- Be positive and spend time with positive people
Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Raise your awareness of your own inner strength and positivity. You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important. So, talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems. Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.
- Be you
Too many of us prefer gentle lies to hard truths. But make no mistake, in the end it’s better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie.
Don’t try to be what “they” like – be who you are. The people worth spending time with will be genuinely interested in spending time with you – warts and all. That works out well because you won’t be happy being anyone else.
- Remove your labels
“Human” is the only real label we are born with, yet we forget so easily.
If you become attached to a negative label like depressed, divorced, diseased, rejected or poor; you believe that’s who you are and how you are defined. These are negative labels.
Switch them to positive labels such as capable, confident, worthy, loveable, valuable, happy, grateful. Keep going, you’re doing great!
- Ask yourself the right questions
What questions are you asking yourself? Are they helping you better understand your purpose or do they have your mind spinning in circles?
Questions act as guideposts and they have a powerful influence on the direction of your life. The questions you hear most often come directly from YOU. Instead of looking outside yourself for answers, start asking yourself the right questions:
- Who am I?
- What do I want?
- What are my labels?
- What do I want to give?
- What’s the next step I can take right now?
It’s all about self-inquiry. That’s how you will stay true to your principles, pursue your desires, grow through adversity and add value to the world around you.
Notice the changes that have happened and celebrate each success. At the end of the day, write your personal “I did it” list. You will be amazed at how successful you are and you will see how small changes are positively worth it.