Book Giveaway and Excerpt: Courage and Grace

Dear KOM-ers! We’re so happy to feature a new book giveaway!
Please enjoy this excerpt from “Courage and Grace” by Susan Ball.

There are 2 ways to enter to win your FREE signed copy:

  1. Leave a comment below with your email (so we can contact you)
  2. Email us at KOMWriting@gmail.com with the Subject: Courage and Grace giveaway entry

Winner will be selected on 4/6/18 and announced on our website and social media. *

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You want the freedom that comes from controlling your life. You also crave joy in life; the type only achieved when you accept and learn to love and honor yourself.

Based on her personal experience and practical coaching Susan leads women recovering from domestic violence, to discover their courage and embrace their grace. In this book, she guides you on your continuing healing journey, to move you from the place of feeling broken to an empowered, healed woman, who embraces the blissful life she has created for herself.

Excerpt: Finding Your Courage

The Breaking Point

I ran to the police station, my head still reeling from being choked to blacking-out but I knew I had to make him stop. I ran and ran and screamed as I got closer to the station. He was hot on my heels running after me, threatening to kill me, and I knew if I didn’t get inside the police station I would die.

My screams caught the attention of an officer just getting out of her cruiser, and she ran to meet me to bring me inside the station. She radioed for the door to be opened. “Assailant in pursuit!” I actually believed he would stop when he saw the police, but he didn’t. He kept coming and was getting closer, and I started screaming. She held me closer and got me inside where I was handed over to another nice officer.

At that precise moment, my abuser hit the door of the station, and he verbally threatened the officer and then reached out to punch her. The other officers stormed him, put him in cuffs, and took him downstairs to the jail cells.

I sat in the little interview room, and they just let me cry and cry. An officer brought me a coffee then said my abuser had been charged with assault and uttering death threats.

I was safe!

There was a barrage of photos of the big red marks on my throat. You could see each of his finger marks clearly on my neck. They took pictures of my back where he dragged me. Pictures, just lots of pictures. The police were so gentle and kind. Never pushed me or rushed me.

The really creepy part…the whole time I could hear my abuser shouting and cursing and threatening me from the cells. I would shake when I heard his voice and the police would reassure me he couldn’t get out but there was something about his blood-curdling screams that unnerved me.

They saw my angst and distress and sent an officer down to monitor the cells so they could turn off the sound.

Peace. Quiet…

I was escorted home, and the officer went all around the house securing windows and doors for me. Then he told me that my abuser would be out on bail by morning, but he would have a restraining order on him and if he showed up anywhere near the property to call right away.

I went to my girls’ room and laid down with my youngest and slept. When I woke up my throat was so swollen I could hardly speak, and my kids were horrified to see the bruises around my neck. I knew I had to leave town and start over again. I knew this was not the way to raise two wee girls. I knew it was not the way I wanted to be treated. I knew it was time to move on.

The plan came together over the course of two weeks, and during that time, he would park his car just outside the range of the restraining order, stand near the hood and stare at the house. Going outside was scary. I pulled the girls out of school, and we just stayed indoors. I would sneak to my neighbors who would do a little shopping for me, so we had food. They would sneak it in through the back window. Time to go was getting closer, and although my heart was breaking and I didn’t have two cents to call my own, I knew it was the right thing to do.

No excuses. My children and I deserved better. Period.

My last night cuddling my two little girls was magical. We sat on the couch all warm and cosy and read their favourite book The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Both of them vowed to stay up all night so they wouldn’t miss a minute of the story. Of course, they fell asleep, and I sat in the quiet, dark thinking about how we would be uprooted from our home tomorrow.

All because I married the wrong person. Simply because I made a decision that hurt all of us deeply. This was happening! I had to be strong because I wanted more for them than to see their mother as a victim of domestic abuse. I wanted them to know that abuse was not right or normal or to be tolerated at any time in their lives. So I sat in the dark with one small child on each side and knew that I was making the right choice. I had to rip the bandage off so we could heal.

The tears flowed because I could remember the dream and how desperately I wanted the life he promised us. I was also pissed that he had given and then taken it away without even a second thought to how we would all be hurt.

How dare he?

And to top it all off, I found out, through the police about his affair. Imagine my humiliation to have a cop stand at my door asking me why I had bailed him out of jail and me looking shocked and saying, “I did no such thing.” Right at the same moment, me and the cop realize the woman who bailed him out was, in fact, the Other Woman. Yeah okay. Now I feel like a complete idiot.

The officer was so kind, he offered to come in and chat. I let him, recognizing my need for comfort and counsel. It was nice to hear his reassurance that I would be free soon, and although my new journey may have bumps, it would end in a good, peaceful, happy place. I needed to hear that, and to this day I’m thankful for his kindness.

Morning came. The girls got dressed and packed up their last few things, and we waited for my sister and an amazing family friend to come and move us back to our hometown. I spent time trying to make the girls giggle. I had to explain why we were leaving so much behind. They were concerned about what would happen to everything. I told them, “On our new adventure we don’t need stuff… Just each other.”

With a broken heart, bruises, and 2 little girls, I courageously left what was familiar for the great unknown.

 

* By entering this contest, you give consent to Kind Over Matter to use your name for promotional purposes on our website and on all social media. 

Susan Ball is the founder of Empowered Her, an abuse recovery expert and a bestselling author. "Empowered Her" blossomed from Susan's own abusive relationships and is built on the belief that all women are entitled to live free, fulfilled and fearless.
Susan is on a mission empowering women to Rise Up, Show Up, Free Their Voices and Move Out of Victim-Hood.
You can connect with Susan on her website or join her Healing Narcissistic Trauma Facebook Group.

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