Change is one of very few things in life that’s certain. Even though that’s true, many of us spend a lot of time resisting change. We try to keep things as they are. We don’t want to rock the boat, or make waves, or any other anti-change analogy that keeps us stagnant. (I guess you can tell how I feel about change, huh!)
I was recently a guest on the Midlife Schmidlife podcast, and when the host, and my friend, Liz, asked me to reflect on my 20-something self, I had a light bulb moment. A much as we resist change, as I sit here a few months away from turning 41, I sure as heck wouldn’t want to be the same person now as I was in my 20s!
Think about that. Take yourself out of the immediate discomfort that often accompanies change and reflect on a previous time in your life. Would you want to be the same person today as you were then? I sure wouldn’t. My 20s were probably the time in my life when I was most unkind to myself. Sure, there were some great things that happened in my 20s, but I’m talking about my overall relationship to myself – how I spoke to myself, how I cared for my body, who I was in my relationships – none of that is the same today and I wouldn’t ever want it to be! If I’d spent the past 2 decades resisting change, I can’t even imagine who I would be, but I guarantee you I wouldn’t be writing this post to you.
In the moment, change can feel scary…and I’ve learned that scary doesn’t always mean something is wrong. Often in fact, that scariness or fear or discomfort, is a sign that you’re moving in exactly the right direction.
Change stirs things up, whether it’s good change or bad change. Our work is not to resist change, but to learn to discern between the good kind and the bad kind. It’s all a part of growing and who doesn’t want to do that?